CONNECT REFLECT VALIDATE – 3 key takeaways to support someone in suicidal crisis

My name is Jo Lambert and I am one of six volunteers who made Hold the Hope, a suicide prevention film which explores how to support someone in suicidal crisis though a lived experience lens.

Over the last year, we have been working with film production company Creative Colony to bring our ideas and vision for Hold the Hope to life.

The film is split into two parts, with the first part told through two spoken word poems Today’s the Day and Hold the Hope (written by me and performed by award winning George the Poet). 

It depicts the journey of someone who is in mental health crisis and the thoughts, feelings and emotions they experience. The second part of the film features behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with me and my lived experience colleagues.

Hold the Hope was funded by NHS South West London’s Suicide Prevention Programme (part of the NHS South West London Integrated Care Board).

The film will form part of a new life-saving training course that will be co-delivered by me and other volunteers alongside NHS staff for schools and the British Transport Police in South West London.

At the start of the project, I wrote a carer narrative, a distillation of my lived experience supporting a loved one in suicidal crisis.  I condensed it into three key takeaway points – CONNECT REFLECT and VALIDATE in the hope that this might be easy to remember in a crisis situation.  These three words and their significance are themes which run through both of the poems in the first film’s voiceover and in the second film, my colleagues and I share our lived experience examples of how to connect, reflect and validate someone in crisis and what holding the hope for them means.  The film’s name derives from the name of the second poem.

As a mental health carer, I joined this project because I wanted to share what I wish I had known at the start of our family’s crisis.  I am delighted that there are plans not just to deliver Hold the Hope into the police and secondary schools, but that there are already discussions about sharing it more widely across communities – with mental health carers, parents, universities etc. 

Hold the Hope has been produced from lived experience, and my belief is that it is versatile and eminently portable because of that.  For me the beauty of Hold the Hope is that it can be shared anywhere – it is just as applicable in a corporate setting so that staff can learn how to support family members and colleagues as it is for clinicians in a hospital who can deepen their understanding of their patients’ experience.

“Can you turn stigma on its head

And see my staying power instead?”

From Hold the Hope ©Jo Lambert 2023

For me, this is the most important part of the poem.  Once you start to understand the details of the back story to someone’s suicidal crisis, what is remarkable is not that the person had thoughts of ending their life but that they coped with as much as they did, as well as they did and for so long.  The act of connecting, reflecting back and validating someone’s experience and holding the hope for them in their moment of crisis, can re-connect someone with their own immense internal power to survive.

It was an honour and a privilege to be part of this project and I have made what I hope will be lifelong friends as well as extended my own understanding from the shared experience of my colleagues.

Final words by Matthew McKenzie

I attended the Hold the Hope Launch on Friday the 8th of December 2023. The launch was at the Everyman Cinema Borough Yards.

I was not sure what to expect, but felt welcomed and involved. With collegues from Cygnet attending along with me, it was a great way to support the amazing work Jo Lambert and others had put into the project.

After watching the video Hold the Hope, I can certainly see the challenge that must be taken up by the police, rail service, schools and more. Suicide must be tackled as soon as possible and one of the best ways to do this is through education.

Health, social care and the mental health services can only grow stronger with the inclusion of those who have lived experience. It takes courage, determination and care for those who get involved, because they have their own challenges and trauma.

The film clearly shows the importance of holding on to hope. There is always a chance, but sometimes we cannot see this. Sometimes those who attempt suicide cannot see any hope and those who should help can lack the skills to spot and prevent suicides.

With Jo Lambert’s poem, I can see how this hits home. I can feel her words gently remind that there is hope.

I could not help but be intrigued after the film was shown. I wanted to hear so much from the inclusion of lived experience.

I asked Jo what she expected from the project and was amazed at how thoughtful her answer was. As a carer I can see the potential of the project. We need to include carers and help them tackle the challenges when caring for someone going Suicidal Ideation.

I admit there is so much to do, but with the Hold The Hope project, I can certainly see a strong foundation.

Thank you for reading