Tag Archives: caring

Black History Month 2023 – What it means to me

Welcome to another blog post by Matthew McKenzie carer activist and one of the carer network ambassdors for Cygnet.

As of this month for October 2023 it is Black History month. This month is a special theme for me since the theme is ‘Saluting our Sisters’. The theme highlights the crucial role Black women have played throughout history.

There are so many famous black women throughout history

Rosa Parks – for her courageous participation in the Montgomery Bus Boycott to push forward the civil rights movement against racial segregation on public transport.

Maya Angelou – who was famous for poetry and also a civil rights activist.

Mary Seacole – Contributing to medicine and nursing where she even helped British soldiers being injured in the Crimean war while fighting discrimination.

There are of course many more famous black sisters who are far too numerous to mention, but the above have shows the importance history plays in shaping our lives.

Still, I want to focus on someone very special and dear to me as she has not only shaped my life, but in a strange way inspired many others. Around 2019 during the pandemic the country was fighting an unknown and dangerous virus. That virus turned out to be COVID-19 and the outcome changed my life. My mother struggled with her mental illness in her later years, which in turn led her to also struggle with her physical health. With resources running low in the health service my mother was the unfortunate casualty of dwindling health resources during the pandemic.

Like so many other vulnerable groups. My mother did not actually die of virus, but just could not access emergency healthcare as resources were focused on covid victims.

The impact left me wondering what could I learn from my many years of caring for my mother. I had a choice either to share my story to other carers or completely move in another direction of my life. I made the former choice, because it helped me heal and also pay rememberance not only to my mother, but to myself.

So around 2020 I wrote my first book about my experiences as a mental health carer. The book was called “A caring Mind”, which was named after my blogsite which was born raising carer awareness after writing blogs for South London & Maudsley NHS trust.

Even when caring for my mother, I was also helping to care for an old friend who also inspired me to write. However it was my mother Rosemarie McKenzie who spent so much time writing poetry. My mother also wrote stories and even managed to get a story published in a magazine while she was struggling with mental illness.

My mother enjoyed singing and used to sing at our local African/Carribean community centre (family Health ISIS) that catered for those struggling with mental illnes.

Rosemarie McKenzie to the left dressed in white

My mother inspired many other clients at the community centre to be creative with poetry, singing and writing. It did not matter the mental struggle other clients was going through at the centre. They saw my mothers, as long as they could be creative, it helped them express traumatic feelings in a positive way. This was one of my mother’s strengths. No matter how many times she was would suffer with her health, she always found strength to be more than her illness. She made me find cause in highlighting awareness for vulnerable groups. This in turn led me to continue writing and using creative ways to express my lived experience.

Of course I could never fully understand my mother’s illness and could only express my mothers creativity as a dutiful son and a mental health carer. In the end I feel we cannot always look to the famous and fortunate of our black sisters. We all contribute to history in our own way. My mother used her own creativity to tell her story and I will continue that story hoping to contribute to black history.

Thank you for reading.

The Long Road – Carer poem by Matthew McKenzie

Carers week 2023 approaches. When you start your journey providing unpaid care it can be a long journey. You might start out caring for someone with cancer, mental illness or physical health difficulties. No matter how you see it, you will starting out on a journey.

As an author and poet, I have written extensively on the journey I have travelled. I hae also written about the path where many other unpaid carers will have to walk.

It helps when former or veteran carers help guide others down that road. We need to be aware that not all carer journeys are the same, but it helps if we identify and value each other.

Below is a poem taken from my book “The Poetry book of mental health caring”. You can check out that book at the end of this blog post. I do actually have some podcasts of the poems off my website.

This poem “The Long Road” talks about how a former carer looks back down the road they have travelled. They see new people beginning their caring journey. The stop and tell those carers about that journey. This is a peer carer task, but it is so important vulnerable groups look out for each other.

Watch the poem below.

Preview My carer poetry book on the link below

The Poetry book of mental health caring

Thank you for reading, good luck with your caring journey

Why we care

Welcome to another carer blog by carer activist, champion and author Matthew McKenzie. If I am not speaking at events or conferences, I am busy writing or minding my own carer stall at NHS Hospitals. I certainly get into a lot of interesting conversations at the stall. Just to note, the reason for my stall is to focus on unpaid carers to get help and support. Not many people know they are even carers, they just end up coping. This is not always a bad thing, we do not have to use the label carer for everyone. Still, if you continue to just cope for a long length of time, they can have a bad effect on the person’s health and wellbeling.

So what’s with this blog? Well I got into an conversation when someone mentioned people only care because they can get benefits or compensation. I want to put out that there is more to caring than just getting ahead. It might mean different for others, but for myself when I provided a form of unpaid care, I did this out of duty and love.

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I suspect many others provided care for someone close out of duty and love. When I was providing care for my mother, I knew how she was when she became ill. It was a tragedy to see how she became mentally unwell over the years. I fought very hard to give her the same quality of life I felt she could have. This might be different for those caring through other forms of illness of disease. Those caring for someone with cancer (depending on the stage of the disease) might struggle to improve their loved ones quality of life, but they will still care and probably care till the very end.

Those providing care will certainly want some kind of benefit that helps aid their caring role, but most will provide care even if benefits were almost non-existant. If carers are to value something, it would be knowledge of the condition the person is going through. If you knew what you are caring for and how to provide such care, then this would save so much trouble in future.

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For mental health carers, it is important to keep that relationship going with the person they are caring for. It is important to develop good communication skills and develop trust because when those things break down, it will be harder to maintain a relationship.

Providing unpaid care can actually strengthen’s relationships, because if the ‘carerd for’ recognises the person is providing help and support, they are usually grateful for this. I remember the look my mother gave me as she lay on the hospital bed. She knew through all the years I had tried to be there for her. I admit I made plenty of mistakes, but she knew in the end, the relationship was strengthened. This unfortunately is not always the case for some unpaid carers. Many relationships have ended due to the impact of mental illness or being unable to cope, which can often push the carer away.

Lower down the list of why people care for someone is usually down to developing our own character and skill set. As a carer, the person does not want to give up their caring role. They want to prove to themselves that they will see things through. They want to develop courage and face those challenges head on as they advocate for the person they are caring for. To be honest carers will have to be brave and even advocate for themselves. This is not an easy thing to do as the services can often be patient centric.

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Some character traits of carers already exist on the reasons they care. Some people already considerate, patient and understanding plus generous. When providing unpaid care, those character traits just go stronger each day. It is important carers must understand the stigmas they face. People will judge unpaid carers as if they have no skillset, but this is wrong and it is discriminatory. Carers need to also be vulnerable and ask for help. Especially if suffering from fatigue, isolation, anxiety or just needing someone to talk to.

It is important carers take time out for themselves, but with the pressures on health & social care, it can be understandable why carers put themselves on the line.

Thanks for reading

New book titles for 2023 by Matthew McKenzie

Hello, everyone!! Merry Christmas thanks for joining me here today to explain a bit more about future projects that I’m going to be working on. Some of them actually, almost practically finished. So yep, my name. As you can see from the title here, my name is Matthew McKenzie, Carer campaigner, Mental health carer activist who facilitates several carer groups around half of London.

what I want to do is just explain a few things regarding some books that I’m working on. I’m going to start developing audiobooks, I will of course continue to work on paperbacks, one of them is in draft at the moment. I’ll talk about that in a bit.

If you want to see the video version of this blog, please watch below.

Special edition of my poetry Audio book – The Poetry book of mental health caring

So during summer 2022, I published my first poetry book. This was my first attempt at what I felt would be focusing on the experiences of providing mental health care. One of the reasons of doing poetry is that you don’t have to really read a whole book to just sort of reach out to those who perhaps understand, in a sense of what’s it like to provide care for someone with mental ill health. Plus to also reach out to those who’ve never experienced it.

So I’m doing an audiobook project on my poetry, but with the added benefit of contributions from other carers who are activists or are poets who want to produce poetry on the carers experiences. So I’m hoping to publish in early 2023, January, February, by that time, that audiobook will be coming out.

Race, caring and mental health

The next book, which is not an audio book, will be in paperback form. I felt it was due time to come out. This is because I have been writing books close to two years now. I have also been running as carer groups, but two of them focus on ethnic carers coming from ethnic minority background, so obviously, they are providing care and support to someone experiencing some form of mental illness.

I’ve been meaning to develop a book like this for some time looking at how mental illness can impact on the family, on friends, not from the patient side. Let’s look at this new book closely. The book titled “Race, Caring and Mental Health”. From it’s first chapter, I often say to many people that it’s important to tell your story. With this book, I felt it even more important due to some of the tragic consequences that can happen to ethnic minority groups providing unpaid care. This is it’s not just within the mental health system as the book’s second chapter will be looking at discrimination and racism, and links to mental health, for the other chapters, they will focus on health inequalities and the structures. The book will explore the deadly roundabout regarding the repeat situations of those going in and out of the mental health system. Why does this occur?

I don’t have the answers and can only share my ideas of what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, but I know what I’m learning about. I’d be really interested on people’s views of my new book, which is in draft form at the moment and I will probably change a couple of pages in the hope to release this around January 2023.

Providng Care and other Short Stories

Lastly my 6th piece of work will be an audiobook, similar to the project of the poetry audiobook. But this time I want to work towards fiction. Now, I’ve been writing two years now. Most of the books that I’ve been doing are not fiction at all. I mean, I suppose you could argue in some sense that poetry is looking at certain topics that may or may not happen. So this new audiobook will be my first attempt at fiction, including 20 short stories about unpaid care, here are some of the stories below.

This audio book will explore some of the following carer themes.

  1. Providing Care
    Story about a woman finding out her husband has developed a form of mental illness, she now has to battle to become an unpaid carer.
  2. Digging out of a hole
    A young man caring for his sister, but this time there are horrible things that make his life difficult.
  3. A family Affair
    Story of a main carer feeling isolated by the family, everything is thrown at her and no one wants to help.
  4. Never thought it would be me
    A female carer whose partner is caught in a serious accident, her life is turned upside down as she battles to provide care for him.
  5. Angry
    A carer thrown into anger and despair as she is let down time and time again, leading her to becoming angry.
  6. Just when I needed you
    A story of carer peer support and why it is needed, a story that is more hopeful than previous stories.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a lovely holiday break.

A caring community?

Welcome to my latest blog. I decided to post something different this time and I want those who read this blog to reflect. I want people to reflect on what makes a community?

Well to be honest many things actually make a community, sometimes it can be hard to pin down. After all community is a large concept, but for me I think people make a community. My thoughts on this does not stop there, I was wondering what makes a caring community? This kind of question makes things tricky, but these days a caring community is something we are still working towards.

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I do not think a caring community can be pinned down to one thing e.g. People. I think many concepts can influence and motivate others to care about each other. If you go through my website, I often talk and promote the ideals of unpaid caring. I promote how important families care for members of that family. I promote how friends can stay connected and ask how someone is doing. I promote how neighbours check in on each other, even if to miss the latest episode of EastEnders.

The thing is to make others aware of such ideals, because I am sure when the time comes, we all would want a community that cares for us. Unfortunately it is not that simple. Those in the community all have different values, culture and different identities. How can we work towards the common value that is important to everyone in the community? There will be times when those in the community cannot understand each other or do not recognise the value of each other. This is why it is so important we continue to connect, learn and share with the community.

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It is true that values, culture and identities are different within the community. However we can celebrate our uniqueness as a common goal and continue to share the common values we all cherish. As a community we must continue to recognise those values and build on them, everyone’s voice will be important although there will be some things we need to avoid. Not everyone wants a community, but I know deep down the majority cherish the importance of connecting, sharing, learning and building on culture. These are the great values for the community and these values can help a community that cares for its people.

Valentines day and its relation to care

Welcome to my latest blog post.

Did you know it is Valentine’s day for Feb the 14th 2022? I am sure you have not forgotten and if I just reminded all those men out there…….better get those gifts quickly.

On a serious note, when we think of valentine’s day, we think of partners or those in a relationship buying gifts for each other. We think of those who are close spending time out at the cinema, restaurant or some place special. We think of those who want to rekindle they love for each other.

Now thats a keyword ‘Love’.

I am going add something to valentines day. As you already might know, I raise awareness for those who are having to care for someone suffering mental ill health. I often think of those, even though I am not providing that sort of care anymore.

I feel, that it is not only out of love that a person is providing that care. As if it was out of duty or out of concern, but a lot of it relates to love and care.

I want valentine’s day be a reminder for those battling to keep someone here for not only valentine’s but the days, weeks, months and more so that they can one day hope the person they care for is recovering.

So valentine’s day is not always a day that we buy gifts, show off our love and feel special. Just like Christmas or other religious holidays, that valentines does have a serious deeper meaning.

The thin line of Patience – A poem by Matthew Mckenzie

Hello everyone. As you can probably tell from my website. I focus on the experience of providing unpaid care, especially regarding those suffering mental ill health. I am in my poetry phase and am to get a large number of poems off my YouTube channel.

My latest poem, which is rather short looks into how mental illness can be catching, perhaps not as bad as what the poor patient is going through, but unpaid carers are not signing and jumping for joy.

You can view my latest poem by playing the video below.

Mental Health carer poetry – On Alert

Medication

Happy new year to visitors of my mental health carer blog site. As mentioned in my earlier blog posts, I am working on promoting awareness of caring for someone suffering mental ill health.

I created a number of carer poems, quite a few are on this site, but are subject to being edited as I am often fine tuning poems.

I am also adding a couple of my poems on to my YouTube platform and will blog them every so often.

The poem I want to introduce here is titled “On Alert” as it highlights the struggle unpaid carers go through in prompting medication. A lot of carers hate doing such a task, but when the experience the person’s mental health crisis, they want to try avoid the situation again and take resort to being on alert.

Watch my 2 minute poem “On Alert” off my video link below.

A community that cares is a good one

Welcome to my latest blog. As a reminder my blog posts focus on mental health carers, what I mean about that is highlighting the caring experiences of those caring for someone with mental ill health or mental health needs. This latest blog post is about community, because when all is said and done for health and social care, it is how the outcomes impact the community.

Some would say to test good quality wellbeing and a caring community, you can literally pick an area in town and stand there to observe. If you see run down apartments, no one talking to each other, anti-social behaviour, lots of noise and people seeming unwell, then this is a prime example of a community in trouble. When we notice such things, it does not take long to think to ourselves who is responsible for all of this?

I am not saying that all communities are like this, but it is worthwhile to experience what I am mentioning. Of course don’t do this at night especially if the community is known for trouble. Perhaps you might be thinking to yourself, why is Matthew raising this in his blogsite? What has all this got to do with caring?

Well as you can see by my blog title “A community that cares is a good one”. The thing I am trying to point out is because we focus on caring being a personal and private experience. We make the mistake that caring only exists in small confined spaces. We also tend to think that caring can only be applied to those who are unwell and once that person has recovered, then caring can stop. This again does not take into context the importance of caring.

Caring in itself can be applied to so many things, not just the person in themselves, but to caring about the environment, caring about ourselves as in our own wellbeing, caring for the importance of education and caring for community. Make no mistake I am not saying to care about everything, since we do not care for racism, isolation, blaming others or being a general nuisance to others. It is what we care for that counts.

I am fully aware that caring for others, especially those close to us is not a forgone conclusion, since there are many challenges that needs to be worked upon, especially with the new Health and Care Bill 2021 (see my online carers newsletter for more detail). I urge those who are caring, carer reps and the general public to take interest in such bills because it will affect us all.

Going back to the idea of caring in itself, we must take note that a caring community cherishes the importance of not only strengthening caring for others but in caring overall, where a society brings caring about those close to us towards caring for the good of all of us. This is not a simple tasks and almost seems like a utopia because we all have different aims and agendas and I expect those to clash as people do not often see eye to eye, but not all communities are alike, if we find a bad community, then it cannot be the case ALL communities are bad as some are better off, we cannot also think that it is just down to money and resources, because there are people out there working very hard to bring out the best in their own communities.

What is wrong in wanting to live in a community that will reduce isolation, improve health and wellbeing, easier access to social care, less noise, pollution and anti-social behaviour? All these wants and desires being out the best in ourselves and makes us happier in the long run, but we need to understand this cannot be done without the emphasis on care or our mental wellbeing is at risk.

In the end, we are all responsible.

Carers Rights day 2020

Matthew Mckenzie on Carers Rights

Welcome to my blog site that focuses on mental health carers. What I mean by that is the site raises awareness of carers who are caring for someone suffering mental ill health.

For Carers Rights day 2020. I decided to do a blog post to keep that awareness going. The first website I visited was CarersUK website on Carers Rights day. What I found was really interesting.

Did you know that research released for Carers Rights Day 2020 reveals unpaid carers save UK state £530 million every day of the pandemic?

If you want to see the video version of this blog post then see the video below.

Carers rights day video by Matthew Mckenzie

Although this blog post is a little late for carers rights day, I felt that the event was just too important to miss and I wanted to have my say for carers rights day 2020.

If you already know me, then you know that I am a strong advocator for carers rights.

If you do not know me, then let me introduce myself. My name is Matthew Mckenzie from the borough of Lewisham and I have a blogsite, video channel, carers newsletter, podcasts and now event a book.

I also have a strong social media presence where I advertise my carer’s groups, which has been going many years now. The things that have inspired me to do all the above has been down to caring for my mother who suffered mental illness close to 18 years, but during that time I have worked hard to engage with carers and mental health systems.

Back to carer’s rights day 2020. It is one of the special events that focuses on carers doing the hard work of caring for a loved one either in the family, as a friend or neighbour.

The theme for carers rights day is “Know your rights“. On carer’s rights day, I did a talk at my local carers centre regarding carer’s rights.

Below is a list carers should take note of when pursuing their carer’s rights. If you want to know more in-depth details about Carers Rights, then please watch my video.

Ability to access and improve care for the ‘cared for’ in day-to-day life
Domestic, family, and personal relationships
Carer recognition/support in work, education, training or recreation
Personal dignity (including treatment of the carer with respect)
Physical and mental health & emotional well-being
Protection from abuse & neglect
Social & economic well-being
Suitability of living accommodation
The individual’s contribution to society.