Tag Archives: caring

Telling your Carer’s story

Fotolia_73087289_XSHello, everyone, welcome back to another carer blog from former mental health care Matthew Mckenzie.

This time I am writing my book about my caring experiences. The book is soon due for release. I say probably about two weeks time or perhaps the end of next month. I certainly will release it really soon. I have titled my book “A caring mind” but I don’t want to talk too much about the book. The book involves a lot of things and I’ll be doing In more blogs about the book, due to my experiences of being a carer over the years.

This particular blog is about telling your story as a carer.

To watch the video about telling your story as a carer, see below.

One of the chapters in my book is about “my story”, which is chapter two. I also explain the reasons why I took on the caring role for my mother, plus also helping my brothers. I also explain what the things I experienced and I explain a bit about my carer story journey and how it changed over time.

A few things I want to point out is that when you tell your story it shines a spotlight or at least highlights specific issues. If you tell your story as a carer, it’s a way of forming connections to those who are listening to your story, this being other carers.

I find it’s a way of release, when you’re telling your story, especially if your carer’s journey was very difficult. When you just want to tell others “This is what I’ve experienced” or “This is what I’ve gone through” then you’re sharing it with other people.  It might not even be a difficult journey, but it is a way of releasing that out there.

Giving help

There are other main reasons and why it’s important to tell your story as a carer. I think probably the most biggest reason would be that you’re actually educating others. Now, I’ve mentioned before that you would be more likely be telling your story to other carers. In the past when I’ve told my story, and it could be at events or conferences, I found it was a way to educate not only the audience, but within the audience, you could have other carers and pacifically health professionals, those who provided health and support for your loved one or the person you’re caring for. So you’re educating the professionals via health or social care.

Now I’ve looked around as to why it is really important to tell your story as a carer and I’ve come across a report or document released in 2015. It’s came from NHS England website.

And basically the title of this document is “Using stories to improve patient carer, and staff experiences and outcomes” It mentions stories of staff, patient and caring experiences, and journeys through their health system enables NHS to redesign and improve care, according to the patient’s needs are the carer’s needs, where every step of the patient journey is examined and improved.

Reasons to tell your carer’s story

The whole aim of telling your story in some sense would be to improve how the health system works how local authorities provide carer’s support to carers.

When health and social care organisations do events, they want to look into what happened due to a serious incident or a death. They want to improve the approaches or systems regarding complaints or what worked well and what didn’t. They would look at perhaps this is a very good example would be a promotion of service perhaps in a ward or in a GP practice or surgery.

They will display information leaflets on what is happening in a particular service and a good way to promote the service is to have a carer or patient tell their story at that event. But there are many other reasons in using a story to improve the outcomes and redesign or improving health care, health and social care systems.

How you can form your own carer story?

You have to start somewhere. And the aim is to get that story out. Now, what I was told in the past when I was caring for my mom is to perhaps do a journal perhaps everyday if you can, or maybe once a week and how things have been developing because you can look back and look into that journal say, Okay, I tried this, it didn’t work out. It was kind of trying my out caring role and checking what is working.

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When you do a journal, it wasn’t really about to form a story. It was about to keep an eye on if anything goes wrong and you can provide evidence and it can help in writing a doctor’s letter, if there’s a particular issue or symptom that the person you were caring for is suffering, but it can also be used to form your own carers story.

Where can you tell your carer’s story

I want to talk about really where you would want to tell your care story. Now I found the easiest way that I, in the past have told Mark hear his story was probably at NHS carer support groups, because what would happen to your support group is that they would speak to each carer at that group and say you say to them, how things going along for yourself. So I think that’d be an easy way of building up the confidence to tell your story. Another way if you have a fair bit technical knowledge, is there’s no reason why you can’t develop an online video on YouTube.

A good way to tell your story is at events. As in conferences, promotions, especially at mental health trust events. When I was caring for someone using mental health services. My local mental health trust put on carer conferences or carer events, or even mental health events, and they would invite a carer, to tell their story, or even at board meetings, or NHS training courses.

They would invite carers to tell their story and as a way of co-production and getting involved. Another way would be to blog, your story. If you have a website or blog site, there’s no reason why you can’t blog about your carer story. Lastly you could immortalize your story in a book, but be aware that it’s important to have some aspect into confidentiality when you tell your story if the person is still alive or if there’s others involved in that story. Please try and think about confidentiality unless you agree with them that you have to mention them in your book or in your story.

Conclusion

In conclusion, you know, I’ve noticed Carer’s Trust and other major carer’s charity in the UK encourage carers to tell their story. I don’t think even matters even if you’re a carer or former carer, it’s always good to try and tell your story. never tire of telling your story again because it does educate others, and it’s a way of telling others about your identity, your carers identity, and has been a main part of your life.

Young carers awareness day 2020

106542Thanks for stopping by. This is a blog post based on raising more awareness for many young carers around the country. This is that at the time of posting this blog post, it is young carers awareness day. Now I am not a young carer myself, but I did provide care and support to my brothers when I was much younger. They both have autism and every so often I still provide support for my brothers, because being in someones life should be a family commitment.

Young carers awareness day

So whats it all about then? Why the need for young carers awareness day? I mean, aren’t young people not given that support already from somewhere? Is it someone else’s responsibility? Well I will come on to that in a moment, but for now I want to put a spot light on young carers who do their best to care for someone. The main reason I am throwing my chips in on this is that its not common for young carers to write, blog, speak and raise that awareness themselves. Heck! many young carers do not even know they are young carers so they often miss out on support.

Young carers awareness day runs every year and is driven by a national charity called ‘Carers Trust’. Taken from Carers Trust’s website ” For many, their caring journey begins at a much younger age. Caring for someone can be very isolating, worrying and stressful. For young carers, this can negatively impact on their experiences and outcomes in education, having a lasting effect on their life chances.”

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I touched briefly on the importance of raising awareness for young carers day, but there is much more to it than just raising awareness. Young people even if not caring still struggle in getting support for many things, this is doubled or tripled for young carers who can unfortunately fall through the system. I hope that those in authority take note of young carers awareness day and help make its aim come to life.

Still, we can only learn so much from the idea of young carers awareness, I think a small story can show so much more to the situation young carers face up and down this country.

A small story

Let me tell you a small story, this story is not based on any living person, but the experiences are very real and they are very hard. I would like to warn you this story pulls no punches, but to get the message across, we sometimes have to point out the painful stories.

My story starts with a young boy, so full of energy, wonder and excitement. His life ahead of him as he notices from his friends at school. His name is Sam. A simple young boy and he was well raised by his mother, she cared for him and she loved him. There was never any issue of the close bonds in the family. His mother had recently divorced from her husband, but she fought on and raised their only son.

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It was as if only yesterday, Sam’s mind wandered back to this unfortunately incident. Sam remember he was just around 8 years old, when he came home from school. He suddenly noticed when he got in, the house was so dark, like all the lights were off. Sam called out to his mother, but no reply came from her. Sam remembered that he walked into the kitchen to get something to eat. The family was struggling as many families low in the income gap tend struggle. Sam was just reaching for a plate out of the cupboard and he spotted his mother sitting on the kitchen floor. Sam asked if she was ok, but after a while she responded, but not directly looking at Sam at all. She slowly replied that she was ok.

Sam did not know what else to say, but he then took his mother by the hand and led her to the living room and turned on the TV. His mother slowly sat down on the sofa and then looked at her young son. Her precious only child. Her eyes seem almost empty of life, but she spoke to Sam, she stroked his hair softly and said that she loved him. Sam’s mother watched the TV and sat there for hours. Sam remembered this so well, he was so confused he never saw his mother act like this before. What was wrong? What could he do?

The next day after Sam came from school, everything seemed different. His mother was well again as if nothing happened the day before. She seemed energetic, and she even asked Sam about his day at school. Sam seemed much happier that his mother was more responsive. However when parent evening came about at the local school, Sam’s mother acted rather strangely when speaking to teachers about her son’s progress at school. Sam was with his mother, but Sam’s mother was struggling to concentrate on what the teachers were saying. Sam panicked, because his school friends were watching. Sam could hear the whispers from his friends. “Sam’s mother is a wierdo! Whats wrong with her”?

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The next day at school, Sam could not be bothered to go in. He was too scared, too ashamed what people might say. Why was his mother acting this way? He played truant and just spent time siting in the park, wondering why his life was giving him such a hard time. He just could not understand, but if there was anything to come out of this. He loved his mother dearly.

The next day Sam’s mother was so unwell, she was asking Sam to do more and more around the house. Sam’s mother seemed to lack energy, she just could not do anything for herself. Sam did the best that he could. Yes, for certain days, Sam’s mother was ok, but things seem to be getting worse. Sam’s mother just sat there, as if not to care. She could not often dress herself, wash and instead Sam slowly took over. He asked his mother if she needed help and he started to cook, shop and clean. All this began taking its toil as Sam’s school work began to suffer.

The school was sending reports to Sam’s mother and soon a phone call came, Sam remembered this as if it was yesterday. He remember how his mother was pleading and saying that she is ok and that there was no problem. Sam wondered why his mother was upset and who she was speaking to over the phone.

Eventually days turned into weeks, weeks to months and then to years. Sam got older, from aged 9…10 and 11. Sam never gave up, he got older, tougher, wiser and even then after all the bullying, insults, stigma and tireless work. He continue supporting his mother. When someone at school asked if he was a carer, Sam did not know what this meant. He just loved his mother, thats all what he wanted.

Sam is now 22 years old. He is sitting in the street watching the people go by, oblivious to Sam’s plight. Sam does not hear much from his mother anymore. His mother has changed and it seemed she has succumbed to something. Sam’s mother can hardly speak much and when she does, its like a mumble, it does not make sense. A cold tear drops from Sam’s face, he wonders what he has missed out on in his life.

“God damn this world!” Sam thinks, as he sits on the floor struggling with his on mental health. “My mother, my life….whats next?”

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Sam begins to finally know what a young carer is….unfortunately for Sam it has come to late and perhaps he is just another statistic among many young carers.

What can we learn from this story?

I hope you found my small story eye opening. I know the story was not meant to be easy, but I know somewhere out there, there are many Sam’s who feel bitter about their situation. What can we learn from this story? We can learn quite a few things.

  • Sam had to grow up very quickly.
  • Sam’s mother certainly had mental illness, but no one knew the diagnoses
  • Sam took on the role of caring for his mother, even when he was not sure how to care for himself.
  • Sam’s own roles and duties suffered, especially his education
  • Sam lost many of his friends, as children they could not understand Sam’s plight….it was all a game.
  • What ever affected the family, eventually affected Sam’s future. Sam felt bitter about things as he feel into the grey area of carer support through his late teens.
  • Sam’s mother was terrified of social services. She felt they would take Sam away from her, Sam’s mother just needed that extra support, but many social workers had been moved on. There was now a lack of them, since heavy and sustained cuts removed important support for Sam’s family.
  • The health service seemed missing from this story, health support not only for Sam’s mother, but for Sam himself as depression, stress and anxiety slowly crept into Sams experience.  Sam did not feel empowered about his experiences.

So then. What next? Who is picking up the pieces? We are, but we have Carers Trust. A national charity fighting so hard to speak for young carers and engaging with young carers to speak for themselves. If nothing is done, young carers pay that heavy price. Young carers lose out on what many young children and young people take for granted. Young carers lose their enjoyment in life, they cannot be children anymore and have no time to play, have fun and feel part of the community.

I have noticed many carer centre’s run young carer groups and I see how happy young carers feel connected to other young carers at these groups. Still, Carers Trust is a charity as many of the carer centres are charities. We spend a lot of time banging that drum for awareness, funding and activism. Carers Trust need more to help with awareness and help with young carers.

A small warning.

I am not sure if there was a theme for young carers awareness day, I am sure there is, but I have just come back from an exciting Triangle of Care working group over at West London MH trust. I am writing this so quickly I hope there are not too many typos and I hope my blog post makes sense.

There is just one thing I would like to say. This blog post is just a warning. We must act now to protect the next generation as social care has a mountain to climb. Whoever is reading my post and is in a position to make a change, however small. We must reduce the situation faced by many young carers across the country. So that we do not have to see more stories of Sam and how his life turned out.

God bless you all and good luck on your carers journey, however young you are.

Carer traits and characteristics

Finger art of a Happy couple. The concept of couple laughing.Welcome back, Its not long until “Carers Rights day”, which takes place on the 21st of November. I am sure to do a blog and maybe a video about it, but still it is a couple of weeks away, but keep a look out for local carer events in the meantime. This particular blog is on carer character traits.

Basically when people think about unpaid carers, they often think that the person is just caring for someone. In a way there are correct, but delve a little deeper and they could be off target. There is a whole lot more to a carers world than what people might think.

So I have decided to list and briefly explain some unpaid character traits, this blog is aimed not only at health professionals, but carers themselves who might wish to understand what they might find helpful on their carers journey.

Please take take note, not all unpaid carers are the same and due to trying to keep the blog post short, I have missed out a lot of carer character traits and skills.

Providing a simple hug.

Not all carers do this, it really depends on the relationship with the ‘cared for’. Some unpaid carers are very close to the person suffering either mental or physical ill health, but giving a simple hug to that person can help more than any words can say.

Authenticity

Just caring for someone shows that you are wearing the badge, you are wearing the carer’s badge and no one can say you have not been there. If asked to speak about your carers journey, then you will understand. An unpaid carers journey can be difficult, full of tension and a roller coaster ride. As a carer you can expect to take some massive blows, but at the same time you are growing stronger in your cause.

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Being a shoulder to cry on (very difficult)

Not always easy especially if the ‘cared for’ is distant from you, but as a carer you can always be there as a shoulder to cry on. There will be times that the ‘cared for’ will be let down by everyone, be it friends, health systems and so on. If you are close to the ‘cared for’, just being a carer will give them the opportunity to be the last person they can cry to.

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Being Present (most important!!)

The most important trait of an unpaid carer. There are only a few other ways to care, but being there is the ultimate role of a carer. Some people have big families, but not everyone in that family is going to equally care for the ‘cared for’. Sometimes the carer is the one who will sacrifice or put on hold their life to provide that much needed support. A carer will be there at hospital appointments, doctors appointments, care plan assessments, benefit assessments, they will provide medication or chase things up and more. Being there for the ‘cared for’ is what it takes to be a carer.

Being there when times are tough (difficult)

Being there is NOT enough, its when the chips are down that the true worth of being a carer is on the line. Its no good providing support when the crisis is over, but I am aware that carers cannot be around the person all the time. I am also aware that it is not a criticism of carers who tried so hard, but were pushed away, especially mental health carers. Still, there will be times when the impossible may be asked of you, as a carer you will need to be there especially when there is a crisis.

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Believing

There are not many rule books on being a carer, there has been times when I am thinking to myself am I doing the right thing, because no one can really tell you that you are living your life the best way. There were times my ‘cared for’ hit crisis after crisis and I was banging my head against a brick way with all the bureaucracy, confidentiality and red tape. I was even dealing with bullying from NHS staff siding with the ‘cared for’s’ criticism of me and to be frank, I was on my own. The keyword is ‘Belief’, you as a carer might have to dig down and start believing in yourself. What are you caring for? What are you fighting for? What are the costs? The sacrifices? Is it all your fault? Sometimes only you can answer those questions.

Compassion

Very close to being there as a carer, you will need to show compassion, patience and to be kind. It is not easy to do if you are under stress or constant pressure, being compassionate can even extend to others if you practice being compassionate to the person you care for. If you lack compassion, then you could do damage to the relationship.

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Confidentiality (Can be very difficult)

Sometimes carers have to be confidential about who they care for, but most times a carer will have to deal with confidentiality. It is frustrating because in the end it will be you that providing the carer and support, but how can you do your role if no one is saying what to expect for the ‘cared for’. Its like they are saying ‘Just get on with it’, when the patient is discharged into your care. I have noticed a culture where health professionals state the ‘cared for’ is discharged to the social worker’s care or the care coordinator’s care, but what happens they move on from their jobs or leave? The carer is the constant person in that role and should never be pushed aside or forgotten. Learn how confidentiality works, especially when Carer’s Rights Day takes place on the 21st of November.

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Connection

Being a connection to someone is not easy at all. It depends how close you are to the ‘cared for’. Sometimes a carer is just a person in name and role, but being a connection to someone is highly psychology. There are whole books on the subject on connecting to others and the subject is also one of the ‘5 ways of wellbeing’.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/improve-mental-wellbeing/

It is not always easy connecting to someone who is unwell, but it can benefit yourself as well as the ‘cared for’.

Empathy

Similar to compassion, Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what the ‘cared for’ is experiencing. This is why many carers try hard to work out what the situation is, so that they can provide adequate support and care. Without empathy then you are making guess work, but sometimes it is not always the carers fault. If unpaid carers are pushed out due to confidentiality or not involved, it is difficult to understand what the person is going through, especially if its mental health. Remember, if the health professional is not always present and the ‘cared for’ is very unwell, then it is usually up to the unpaid carer be it friend, neighbour or relation.

Helping (knowing when to help and how)

Sometimes caring is a grey area, there is more to caring than just helping with physical or mental health support. It is also being around to help, this might be arranging meetings, advocating, helping the health professional, helping with money situations and so on.

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Hope (Very common among carers)

Without this trait, you might even want to give up on caring for someone, there should be some form of hope that the ‘cared for’ will recover or at least live with the illness. Sometimes unfortunately there is no recovery, so all you can hope for is to be a witness to the person’s suffering, but deep down inside all unpaid carers hope for some change.

Love (most common thing among carers)

Another common trait with all unpaid carers. You care because you love the person or are emotionally tied to them. Love is a vague word, but without some form of love, it is difficult to care for someone let alone care for anything. Sometimes people overlook the love between carer and ‘cared for’, but it is there. Even if the carer had to walk away from their role, this still could be done out of love and when things really go wrong, then love hurts.

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Loyalty

Very difficult for carers to do, but being loyal to the ‘cared for’ can be an important trait, but what happens when the ‘cared for’ refuses help? When does the question of being loyal become a risk? This is when carers need to break confidentiality and raise the issue if the ‘cared for’ is at severe risk. E.g. reporting to the doctor, social worker or another professional.

Open and loving friends

Not really a carer trait, but something a carer would find helpful. Unfortunately, friends tend to go off packing when having to deal with a carer fighting something depressing. It does not help that carers due to their role will lack a social life, so it is harder to make new friends, but if you are lucky to have friends around who are open and understanding, it can help you in your carer journey.

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Openness.

A risky trait, but expect to use it sometimes. As a carer you will have to be honest about a situation, you might expect to be put between a wall and a hard place. Basically when the ‘cared for’ is refusing help, you will have to raise the call for help, even against the ‘cared for’ wishes. A carer will have to be truthful and open about what is going wrong and expect your relationship with the ‘cared for’ to decline, but think to yourself, what is the risk? You might be thankful one day that you were open and honest about something. Expect the relationship to be slow to build back up again, if ever.

Phone call to check on how someone is

As a carer, it helps to use many tools in your carer’s journey, this is often used if your a distant carer (someone caring from a distance). Even if the ‘cared for’ is not in crisis, a carer might call to see how things are, you might never know what the ‘cared for’ might say. Take note, that with the advent of smart phones, it might help to add the person on Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook or other applications.

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Quality time

Sometimes it is not always about care, care and caring. Spending quality time with the person can help make a difference. Think of it this way, what was the person like before they became unwell? Your relationship might have changed somewhat, but deep down they are still that same person. Sometimes spending quality time is what is needed and expect to do this as a carer to help connect with them.

Safety (common among carers)

Did I say common among carers? It probably is the number one rule book for unpaid carers. You might think providing a safe space for the ‘cared for’ is all that it is, but that is not the full story. Ever heard of the consequences when things go wrong in the health system? Carers will sometimes protect the ‘cared for’ especially when serious incidents will occur, think of wrong medications provided, or wrong decisions putting the ‘cared for’ at risk. Then it can be a tug of war when the carer has to push for the ‘cared for’ to get that support from the health and social care system. Overall the carer will have to be a shield for many things and expect to take some blows.

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Show up physically and mentally

Not the same as being there, expect to take on health and social care settings. Sometimes you as a carer might think some things are being done as a tick box, well you could be right. As a carer you will have to deal with the following professionals.

  • Clinical Psychologist
  • Psychiatrist
  • Nurses (different Bands)
  • Mental Health Counselor (families)
  • Social Worker
  • Care Coordinator
  • Ward Pharmacist
  • Occupational Therapist
  • Ward Manager
  • Admin for services
  • GP
  • Peer Specialists
  • Advocates
  • PALs Team
  • Home Treatment team staff

Yep! and this is only the HALF of it. So as a carer how would you prepare in an important meeting, if you are not sure what that person does or if the professional is being difficult? Well, I am sure at some point I will blog about engaging with professionals, but as a carer, do not expect the ‘cared for’ will do the legwork.

Smiling or trying to

As a carer you don’t have to do this, in fact it is better to seek support if you are feeling down rather than pretend and put on a false smile. It does obviously help to keep one’s spirits up, but be honest with your wellbeing and reach out for support for yourself as well.

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Someone to really listen (listening skills)

This is very important for unpaid carers. If the ‘cared for’ has no one to talk to then expect to listen and avoid saying much or criticism. This is not something easy to do, because it depends on your relationship to the ‘cared for’. There has been times I have had to listen because the person I care for ended up ranting due to being unhappy with how she was treated. It was just because there was no one she would trust to rant to instead, not even the Samaritans. In the end, I just kept quiet and listened, then walked away hoping that her complaining helped in some way. As a carer, expect to listen, but also expect to learn some listening skills.

Time alone (Important!!)

It is so important that you as a carer get time alone for yourself, it might be for recharging your energies, thinking things through or just relaxing. This is probably because a carer has to go through a lot, especially all the things that can play on the carer’s mind. If a carer cannot get time alone, then they could themselves become the next patient.

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Trust (Very common)

In health professional we trust! As carers you will need to put your trust in professionals because you cannot do everything yourself. You will have to hope and trust that your doctor will involve you in the ‘cared for’ situation. If that does not work, then pray the doctor is skilled in being diplomatic enough to remind the patient why they need support from those close to them. Sometimes doctors tend to take the easy way out and let the patient’s word be law, but life is not always as simple as that, why? Think about the serious incidents when the carers or public were right about someone being at risk and the health professionals were wrong. It does happen and unfortunately it won’t be the last, but until then the carer will have to trust in others and trust the ‘cared for’ will seek support.

Words of encouragement (what words to use)

Expect as a carer to encourage the ‘cared for’ to not give up hope. The carer will need to be skilled in being supportive with words and not only just in listening skills. In fact a carer may end up becoming some form of counselling for the ‘cared for’, but only if support structures are lacking.

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The conclusion.

Unfortunately these are just some of the carer’s traits in the carers journey. The carers world can be a difficult long struggle, but it can also be rewarding as you share the ‘cared for’ life successes, hopes, dreams and struggles. It need not be unbearable tough if you learn as much as you can on what it means to be a carer.

Good luck in your caring journey.

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Being part of something

106542Hey there! Welcome to another new blog from unpaid carer Matthew Mckenzie. I have just come back from the Carers UK Conference 2019. As a carer I was inspired on how the event went and felt part of something. I felt part something very big and felt I should write up a couple of my thoughts on this post.

I had shared a panel session at the Carers UK conference and due to limited time, I could not manage to say all what I would have liked, however I felt I got the main messages out there to the audience. I wish this particular blog post carries on my message to other unpaid carers who stumble across this blog post.

This message is to you…fellow carer.

Continue reading

Being There

Being there

Being there because we care
Being there because we dare
Being there to help to with the journey
Being there because of the fear

Being there to because it takes time
Being there to hope your fine
Being there to catch mental illness early
Being there to stand in the firing line

Being there to try to advocate
Being there hoping its not too late
Being there due to all the worry
Being there to avoid the fate

Being there to help to help take the blows
Being there during the highs and the lows
Being there because no one else wants to
Being there because who else..I suppose

Being there because I care
Being there because I dare
Being there to help to share the journey
Being there because of we fear

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Speaking up as an unpaid carer

Big problems - daughter comforts senior motherAs you may or may not already know, this website is dedicated to unpaid carers and raising mental health awareness. An unpaid carer is someone looking after a relative or someone close who has physical or mental health needs. An unpaid carer is not a care worker, carer workers are paid to provide support and can do most tasks out of choice, while unpaid carers do their role almost out of desperation.

This particular blog is about giving unpaid carers some inspiration to get their voices out there. Why is this? Because if carers do not speak up then it is hard for mental health commissioners or health services to work with carer needs.

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Being a carer can be daunting as very few suddenly expect to provide care at a specific time, although most feel that there will come a time when they have to support aging parents, unwell partners or even a friend. When caring for someone with health needs, there can be some relief that the ‘cared for’ has some idea what support they require. This can be be tricky if the ‘cared for’ has mental health needs and due to mental capacity issues refuses care or support.

It is vital carers raise their voices regarding such issues, especially if they live with the ‘cared for’. Many carers just cope from day to day thinking there is no need for support for themselves, but if the carer falls unwell then who will provide support for the ‘cared for’?

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If you are a carer, do not feel worried, frightened or scared to speak up about your caring experiences or caring journey.

So where can carers speak in regards to their caring journey?

There are several places and one of them usually can be at a focus group, especially if its run by a mental health service. The service may want to hear what carers think about a particular service provision, so it is vitally important carers take the time to provide opinions.

Other places could be about a mental health service carers strategy, or a mental health awareness event setting. Carers can also speak up about their caring role at a carers support group, which is vital if a carer needs to let off stream or get something off their chest. Sometimes a carer issue cannot be solved overnight, but most carers do with to be heard or listened to.

Other places where carers can speak is at carer forums, I chair many in south London and look forward to hearing carers ideas and suggestions. Carers need not complain, shout or always play the blame game. The focus is on how we can all work together although I am aware of the frustration with services and feeling that carers are not being listened to or not being taken seriously.

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If you are caring for someone with physical or mental health needs, please check out any important health events in your area. You have given so much to your family, friend or the community, it is time to be heard.

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Why we care – in the family

 

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Welcome back to my first blog post for July, I want to focus this post on why people care in the family or why I think people care due to my own perspective. This blog post will focus on caring in the family. Now I have been a carer for my close relatives for over 16 years and I think I have picked up a few words of wisdom along the way.

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Telling our carers story

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If you are a carer or have been caring for someone for a while. It is important to acknowledge that you have been through some pretty difficult times. Yes, of course there has been some good times, times where carers can celebrate what they have done for those they care for.  There has also been times when the ‘cared for’ should be congratulated for moving forward with their recovery, however we must admit that there have been things in the past that require special attention.

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50 ways to cope as a carer

Matthew Mckenzie (2)Welcome to another blog post from a carer in South London. It has been a while since I have last posted anything, but this is due to spending my attention making videos on my video channel. I have also been quite busy editing my newspaper, which is always worth a read.

Anyway, I thought to post ways to cope as a carer. Basically a carer is someone looking after a loved one, or someone close. An important fact is carers are unpaid and often have to struggle to get recognition. A carer is not a care worker, they are unpaid and not emotionally attached to who they work for.

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The carers story

smallerWelcome to another carer blog post. My blog site works to raise the awareness of mental health carers, that being unpaid carers/caregivers looking after or supporting someone suffering mental distress. The website also tries to raise awareness of mental health, charities and their events.

So this time i want to focus how important it is to take time to listen to carers stories. Listening to how a person became a carer can allow us to relate on a certain level regarding their caring journey. Obviously there is no way a person can relate 100% to any carer, only at a certain level as in sympathizing or recognizing a carer when you see someone in a stressful caring situation.

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