Tag Archives: mental health

Joint Southwark & Lambeth MH Carers forum March 2022

Welcome to a brief update on my joint Southwark & Lambeth mental health carers forum. I run this forum online via zoom once a month. It used to run from Maudsley hospital, but had to move it online due to the covid situation. I am guess I am so lazy to move the forum back to the mental health hospital. Will have to see.

Another update is I have started my volunteering at my local accute hospital trust, so I will be having a carer stall for families of patients to visit me. Lewisham & Greenwich trust have been helpful in giving me a spot to engage with families and carers. There will be lots to work towards, but it certainly is a good start.

Going back to my Joint Southwark and Lambeth mental health carers forum. The speakers for March 2022

  • Claire Parry – Maudsley Psychotherapist on updates at psychotherapy projects at the NHS Trust
  • Rebecca Davies & David Meyrick – Developments for families & carers in the borough of Southwark
  • Annette Davies – Carer peer groups and PCREF.
  • Natalie Marshall – Community peer lead and support for unpaid carers

Claire Parry presents to the group

Clare Parry is a family therapist. She took up the post in June 2021. This being the role of lead family therapist in Soutwark. This includes being a trusted advisor around family therapy and family work across the NHS trust. So part of her role is looking at where services may have family therapy and family work and where they don’t. Her focus is on more of the psychotherapy side rather than kind of carers assessment side. A lot is done to make family members and carers comfortable with the service they provide.

Part of her role over the last year, was working really hard in the psychotherapy services and reduce waiting times. There has been an acknowledgement that waiting times for therapies are far too long. So they have been piloting a project, which means that they are offering other interventions, while individuals, couples or families are on the waiting list for therapy

Clare is very interested in the stories that many carers have to tell, So she wants more carer engagement to events. Claire hopes that psychotherapy can make a different to others who don’t get to talk when someone’s unwell. Clare talked about how some major carer systems have been influcing the NHS trust services, those being the Tree of Life and the Triangle of Care. She also talked about Open Dialogue.

Rebecca and David presents on community transformation project

A lot had been covered by Clare on community transformation, but it was also included at this part of the forum. Rebecca mentioned that a new team, that being a low intensity team has just started. It has just been open for a couple of weeks and the rest of the services will be moving over. There was also more talk about the new mental health hospital build from Lambeth to Southwark.

Rebecca also mentioned that there will be a north and south primary care mental health teams, and the four CMHT’s which will work with most of the service users across them across the borough of Southwark. Rebecca moved on to talk about complex care services, which will include assertive outreach, rehab teams, low intensity team and early intervention team. Plus community mental health teams are going to be merging a lot of the other services.

David who is the maudsley inpatient carer lead for Southwark talked more about Triangle of Care. He admitted things had been slow due to the previous covid-19 epidemic, but with South London & Maudsley working towards their first star in the triangle of care membership, things are picking up. David mentioned how each ward has a carers champion and how they are engaging with families and carers on the wards. David had a strict regime of carers being included in patient notes especially in surguries. Support for patients had to be increased and families & carers are an important factor. David also talked in-depth of the self assessment dashboard which helps to work towards the triangle of care standard.

Next we had a carer who is championed in Southwark for helping to run groups for carers. Her name is Annette and she also run’s her ethnic carers peer group. To be honest, I am a member of her ethnic carers group and is was great to here how she empowers and links other mental health carers. Most if not all carer groups are online due to covid and travel restrictions, but I am sure when things settle down, there might be a room which can host the groups.

Annette also spoke how she was South London and Maudsley’s co-chair for their Patient Carer Race Equality Framework, something I myself have a very close eye on, but not really involved in. To be honest, I usually provide updates regarding race and mental health off my online news site

Lewisham Mental Health Carers forum March 2022

Welcome to another quick update from my carer forums that I host. The forums are aimed at friends, families and unpaid carers who care for someone suffering mental illness. Here is the update from my Lewisham mental health carer forum for March 2022.

Speakers

Annie Dransfield – Carer Author of the book Releasing the Compassion.

  • Annie Dransfield presents.

Before I update on Annie’s presentation. I am developing a carer author circle, I only started the group this week for carer’s week and it is a little quiet, but the group has started. There are at least 5 to 6 of us and evetually we will try our best to support each other and promote the cause of caring.

Annie mentioned that her son was born with a lack of oxygen, which resulted in him having cerebral palsy down his left side and having special needs. She didn’t realise that she was a carer at that time, because it never crosses your mind, she just knew that she has a baby, and he needs looking after. Everyone knew he needed a lot of care and attention, and needed to find out how they were going to deal with the cerebral palsy.

In fact it wasn’t that severe that he needed to be in a wheelchair, but as he got older, due to the complications at birth, he was also diagnosed with schizophrenia. So, all through these years that she has been caring, she has come up against a lot of injustices. These injustices drove her to write the book.

Ann just felt it was a constant battle when you are caring and that you’re dealing with every single aspect of a person’s life. So you’re dealing with so many organisations like benefits, like Social Security, like housing, all these things, every single aspect of a person’s life. One of the bigger challenges was her son getting into debt quite often and having to deal with the banks. The banks seemed to not be too carer friendly and this made life very difficult for Ann and her son.

Ann was very involved with Leeds partnership NHS Foundation Trust. She was a governor for the mental health trust, but this all started when her son became more unwell. As Annie has been caring, she got involved with care support groups. She then got onto different boards, anything to do with caring, carer involvement, parent participation, participation groups, then she became a governor for the leads and York partnership NHS Foundation trust. Annie then became a trustee for carers UK, which she has just since retired.

Annie feels that she has got more of an understanding of the complexities due to expericing all the injustices that she has had to deal with for 43 years. In the end it prompted her to write the book. It’s been bubbling up inside of her for three years. She felt that she had to get this message out, even if it’s just to give hope to new carers that can pick up some hints and tips from the book.

The book “Releasing the Compassion: An expose of the threat that is binding the hands of our community’s most needed carers” is intended as a learning resource as well for NHS students in mental health. It’s intended as a learning resource for professionals like corporate independent businesses e.g. the banks.

You can buy Annie Dransfield’s book on the link below

https://www.waterstones.com/book/releasing-the-compassion/annie-dransfield//9781919606309

  • Questions and comments from carer members

How can we protect our loved ones from financial problems and abuse?

What is that lasting power of attorney or warranty?

I think if with COVID, there was ripe opportunity for some fraudulent behaviour to go on, because people couldn’t leave their house. They did put measures in place and other post office did saying you could nominate someone to go and collect your money

I cannot wait to order your book. I can also say I have experience in trying to deal with banks and the problems of them struggling to secure the debts of someone suffering mental ill health.

Bromley, Greenwich, Bexley & Lewisham Ethnic Carer Forum March 2022

Welcome to the March 2022 update of my Ethnic mental health carers forum. The forum is aimed at those from a diverse ethnic background who care for someone suffering serious mental illness. The forum also covers areas under South London & Maudsley NHS trust and also Oxleas NHS foundation trust, but forum does allow ethnic carers to attend from other service areas. Just to note, I am also the chair of Carers UK Ethnic or BAME advisory group.

Speakers for my March 2022 forum where

  • Abigail Babatunde – Research Associate on the Advance Statements Project (AdStAC)
  • Karen Edmunds – Head of Equality and Human Rights presenting on Oxleas Equalities projects

Karen Edmund presents on Equalities updates at Oxleas NHS services

Karen felt that after the introductions of members of the BAME group, that Oxleas are in the same place as some other NHS trusts are in terms of carer involvement, but she admitted there is more work to do. Karen talked about how they are developing what’s called an “Involvement hub”, which is been led by Jacqueline, who’s Oxleas NHS assistant director of involvement with her team.

Karen feels there has been reasonable amount of service user involvement, where people work with experienced practitioners, but when it comes to carers and community organisations, there is a lot of work to do and they haven’t been quite maybe quite as good as some other NHS Trusts out there.

Karen spoke on the following topics on what Oxleas is working on regarding equalities.

Workforce Equality:

  • Workforce Race Equality Standard (WRES) -reporting and annual action plan
  • Workforce Disability Equality Standard (WDES) – reporting and annual action plan
  • Supporting our five staff networks (BAMEx, Disability, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Women)
  • Building a Fairer Oxleas (BAFO)
  • Policy development
  • Enquiries related to workforce equality

Service User/Patient and Carer Equality

  • Accessible Information Standard (AIS)
  • Policy development
  • Patient complaints related to equality issues
  • Manage the Interpreting contract
  • Manage our multifaith chaplain + Chaplaincy contract with Lewisham and Greenwich Trust
  • Service User Inequalities Group (new)
  • Patient and Carer Race Equality Framework (new)

Staff and patients / service users / carers

  • Equality Delivery System 2 (EDS2) annual report
  • Public Sector Equality Duty
  • Equality and Human Rights Policy, Equality and Diversity training
  • Freedom of Information requests related to equality

Lastly to enable Oxleas to become an early adopter of the Patient and Carer Race Equality Framework (SLaM have been involved in the pilot phase)

Karen then spoke about building a Fairer Oxleas Delivered actions Year 1

Improving cultural competency:

  • Cultural intelligence and inclusive leadership training for the Executive team and 50 senior managers
  • Inclusive leadership workshops open to all managers
  • Comfortable talking about race workshops open to all managers
  • Living our values training for managers to deliver a values session with their team
  • ‘In Each Other’s Shoes’ film about microaggressions, plus a guide on microaggressions
  • Team talks to show ‘In Each Other’s Shoes’ and discuss it
  • Building a Fairer Oxleas section on the Ox (our intranet)
  • Race Resource pack with articles, short films, and useful links to external resources

The outcome will look to improve all experiences of their Black, Asian and minority ethnic staff, which will help improve the experience of Black, Asian and minority ethnic service users and carers

Karen explained The NHS Race and Health Observatory review February 2022 found that:

Ethnic minority groups experienced clear inequalities in access to Improving Access to Psychological Therapies IAPTs; overall, ethnic minority groups were less likely to refer themselves to IAPT and less likely to be referred by their GPs, compared with White British people.

Evidence was identified for inequalities in the receipt of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with ethnic minority people with psychosis less likely to be referred for CBT, and less likely to attend as many sessions as their White counterparts

The review provided strong evidence of clear, very large and persisting ethnic inequalities in compulsory admission to psychiatric wards, particularly affecting Black groups, but also Mixed Black & White groups and South Asian groups.

There was also evidence of harsher treatment for Black groups in inpatients wards, e.g., more likely to be restrained in the prone position or put into seclusion.

More bad news was on how black children were treated in the NHS

Parents reported their children facing the same barriers to accessing services as reported for adult mental health services. Two studies of young Black men showed that they were deterred from seeking help by their knowledge of injustices in mental health services relating to Black Caribbean and Black African populations. Two large national studies found that ethnic minority children were more likely to be referred to CAMHS via social services, education or criminal justice pathways. This was particularly stark for Black children who were 10 times more likely to be referred to CAMHS via social services (rather than through the GP) relative to White British children.

Karen then talked about Oxleas new Service User Inequalities Group

She then moved to its aims which was to explain that it will help deliver Oxleas’s strategy on service user access and inequalities

This will be done by looking at their data on the ethnicity, disability, gender identity, religion, and sexual orientation of patients compared to the local population which will lead to clear actions to tackle inequity of access, experience and outcomes.

Karen the talked about how Supporting Oxleas staff to deliver inclusive care on Proposed actions to tackle inequalities

This is on how all services have a generic email for patient contact to provide an alternative to phone contact Clear information in a range of formats in plain language on what each service provides, referral criteria, and how to get access Disability access guides to key sites available on public website.

Oxleas NHS will be an early adopter of the Patient and Carer Race Equality Framework Engagement with local communities and use this feedback to target service development where it’s needed most Scope care pathways where we can pilot inclusive assessments, factoring culture, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation and gender identity Patient experience data by protected characteristics will be routinely produced, analysed and reviewed by services to identify differences of experience and then plan actions to address these.

Questions from Carer members

  • You shown what Oxleas are doing for CAMHS and Adult service, but what about older Adults?
  • Its an interesting and important presentation, but I am wondering why a white woman is presenting on equalities regarding disadvantages of black people, does Oxleas employ representing the communities it serves?
  • With the impact of COVID on ethnic communities, what does Oxleas have in place to reduce the impact?
  • I am interested in how Oxleas are going to work with the Patient Carer Race Equalities Framework, arent Oxleas service area’s mainly white?
  • Lastly a question from myself is I do not see hardly any ethnic patient/carer grassroot groups that Oxleas is able to engage with. How will ethnic patient and carer groups be empowered so they SEEK engagement and hold Oxleas accountable on services to ethnic communities?

Abigail presents on the Advance Statements Project (AdStAC)

Abigail spoke on how South London & Maudsley are working to promote advance statements for Black and African, Caribbean people. This is because of the high detention rates and especially with black people being more likely to be detained under the Mental Health Act.

It is important to promote why having to work with staff service users, and carers and supporters to understand how to get advanced choice documents or advanced statements can work for black people.

Bromley, Greenwich, Bexley & Lewisham Ethnic Carer Forum February 2022

Welcome to a brief update of my february ethnic mental health carer forum. As usual the forum is an engagement platform for those caring for someone suffering mental illness from an ethnic background. I run the forum via zoom with the support of several mental health trusts.

Speakers at my carer forum for February were

  • Lisa Fannon the Public Health Training and Development Manager for Lewisham updating on Health inequalities
  • Ellie Wharton Senior Project Manager for Health Innovation Network
  • Engagement from the Police on mental health
  • Lisa Fannon presents on health inequalities project

Lisa wanted to update us on the health inequalities project. Since last month there was a discussion with KINARA who attended and talked about the work that they are undertaking in the community, specifically around the Birmingham and Lewisham health inequalities review that is being undertaken with the African and Caribbean communities.

That work has now been concluded and she has received a report. Lisa hopes that they will be able to launch all of that information with an event that’s taking place soon. Lisa reminded that some of us may have received the invite to that event already, but she wanted to ensure that as a community group that we were aware what is happening.

The event will be overseen and organised by Public Health Lewisham. They will also plan to have a additional event following the one just mentioned and it will specifically be for community members. This will be essentially a second in series of events around health inequalities where they are aiming to bring together community groups, and members of the health and social care and health and social care leaders talk about health inequalities. Lisa wants this to be done in partnership with the health and well-being to address health inequalities in Lewisham, and bring together everybody to discuss the situation.

There of course will be opportunities to look at some of the achievements of this work, but also to discuss further action on what needs to be done to tackle health inequalities. Lisa mentioned they will look at what kind of plans that they are hoping to undertake across this year and what future needs is happening at the event.

The event will run in the evening at a Community Centre, where she has sent in advance of this meeting, information about the event to Matthew.

  • Ellie Wharton presents on the Health Innovation Network

Ellie wanted to tell us about the mental health patient safety network event, which is part of their mental health safety improvement programme. Ellie apologised for the acronyms flying around on the programme, but thanked us for inviting her to join and speak at our ethnic carer group.

Ellie agreed with some members that health inequalities is such an important topic, which is why they have chosen it for their second event to focus for the safety network. Ellie talked about what the Health Innovation Network is, which is an Academic Health Science Network (AHSN) for south London, one of 15 AHSNs across England.

The AHSN exist to speed up the best in health and care. They have been commissioned by NHS England and Improvement to focus on Mental Health Safety. Which involves developing a Safety network and supporting quality improvement work in certain areas (such as restrictive practice).

Their principles are central to how the programme runs:
• co-design with people with lived experience
• Creating shared learning, connection and Joy
• Foundations of systematic QI
• Engaging with inequalities where they exist
• Working with their foundations and all the good things that already exist

Ellie then pointed out a member of my ethnic carer forum and stated one of the members was involved in the event. This is when the carer member spoke on her section regarding health inequalities and carers.

Ellie then talked about the mental health safety network.

The network is an interactive designed to bring together individuals across the system with the shared goal of improving mental health safety it is co-hosted by the HIN and the 3 south London Mental Health Trusts (South London & Maudsley NHS Trust, Oxleas NHS Trust and South West London & St George NHS Trust). It’s purpose is to create value through sharing learning, creating connections and building energy and capability in safety improvement

The event welcomes people who share the MH safety network’s goals of improving mental health safety. Registration is open to people with lived experience of mental health services, including carers, clinical and managerial staff from NHS, independent and private health and social care providers, commissioning leads, local authorities, voluntary sector partners, police, emergency services and other system partners.

Ellie then talked to us about the agenda of the event.

  • Mental health Police engagement from South London

The forum gets engagement from the police every now and then. This is mostly because the police have an interest in mind while helping those in a crisis, they want to connect and reassure carers. The police talked about what sites they cover this being Sutton, Croydon and Bromley although its quite a small team.

Their main sort of role and objectives is being a direct liaison with the NHS and mental health trusts. There are other objectives dealing with assaults against NHS, racial assaults against NHS staff where the perpetrators is having mental health issue.

The police then talked about section 136 and how they have been dealing with a lot of escalations. The police think the section is being overused. They think there’s things that they can do as a team to prevent that. There was also some talk about what they can do to help with people out in the streets dealing directly with mental health issues.

The police try and get out and about to the hospitals as well. They have got a police liaison officer that works at the hospital and who deals with crime at other Hospitals.

In a nutshell the police work directly with mental health patients once they were coming into contact with police.

SW London MH Carer Forum February 2022

Welcome to a brief update of my South West London carers peer group. The reason this update is brief is because we had no speakers planned to attend and sometimes carer members just update on their situation.

A quick reminder is this group is aimed at those who are caring for someone with serious mental illness, they could be using the services of the local mental health trust South West London & St Georges or perhaps the person they are caring for is not in recipt of services. The carer group is a peer, engagement, networking and empowerment group covering the 5 boroughs SWLSTG covers (Richmond, Wandsworth, Merton, Kingston & Sutton).

For february we had a very good turn out and some new members. Most of the discussion was on sharing knowledge to those new to caring or those who were not sure what support they could get.

As usual I wont report anything confidential between members, only when speakers talk about issues that those unable to attend can catch up on.

Fast forward to May and engagement has been increasing between my groups and engagement from NHS England & Improvement and the local Healthwatches. Even if members struggle to feedback, they can at least understand what are the important issues of the day.

Mental Health poem by Matthew McKenzie

Welcome to my latest blog post. It has been a while since I have uploaded a poem. I have written close to 65 poems on the carer experience since the start of this year. Slowly a fair number of poems will be uploaded to my YouTube Playlist. The poems will play by themselves.

Plus I have added some podcasts of my poems

My latest poem is called “Confusion”

This poem is quite dark, but tells an often all too familiar story where the carer is trying to care for someone who has relapsed into mental illness. There are no beds or resources for the person who is very sick and thus the carer is confused on what to do. She will stick it out and try and cope as she watches her ‘loved one’ descend into madness.

Confusion by Matthew McKenzie

I sit and wait wondering what is next
Too scared to look at whats before me
The phone sits on the table, i am not sure who to call
I just dont know…I have tried before

The sounds…so distressing, so much is on me
but time is going so slow as my mind torments me
I look at him as his eyes look straight past
My heart sinks as my mind is harassed

Minute by minute..hour by hour
Not a word heard or a form of contact
I sit and wait wondering whats next
confusion takes me and I cannot find the solution.

Exploring the barriers and facilitators to recovery for South Asian service users 

Nafisah Nabi a PhD student at the University of Mancheste is working on a PhD research project focuses on exploring the barriers and facilitators to recovery for South Asian service users within IAPT services. Nafisah is looking to recruit a Patient and Public Involvement Group who can offer feedback on research plans and study materials.

Please see the poster below. You can contact Nalisah at nafisah.nabi@postgrad.manchester.ac.uk

SW London MH Carer Forum January 2022

Back again with another blog post from unpaid carer Matthew McKenzie. I run many carer peer groups and forums and it has been a while since I updated on my SW London carers group. This is because I have been very busy working on my new poetry book for 2022.

Speakers for January
Karen Persaud – Involvement project
Discussion on speakers for the year
Matthew McKenzie – Involvement comparison

Karen Persaud Presents on SWLSTG involvement project

Karen come from a caring background and has been a carer for 14 years. Karen was impressed with the stories that have been shared at my group and felt they related to her at a deep level. Karen explained her past work as a carers champion and the work she did with the Royal College of Psychiatrists on formulating the Community Mental Health pathway, the Mental Health Act review and a few other bits and pieces she got involved in.

Karen felt she could actually influence the way carers were being treated because she was often ignored as a carer in the past and wanted to make a difference. In the long run Karen ended up having to make a lot of formal complaint and even though things were slow going through the formal complaints procedure, she felt thats when things were changed. All this ended up where doors were slowly open for her.

Now Karen is working with SWLSTG it has been quite inspiring. Karen added that she is in awe of what Matthew does especially his commitment and how much he actually takes on and actually gets done.

Karen thanked the carers group for having her and that she was really pleased to present what SWLSTG involvement team has been getting up to.

Karen mentioned about involvement team. The recruitment and the in patient involvement of people with lived experience of mental distress in developing services for the for the vocal trust in the community. What Karen is looking to do is involve from basic involvement to full Co-production as much as is humanly practicable.

The team has grown over the last year. Since she has only been there for a few months at the mental health trust. Karen then explained who was in the involvement team and what day do.

Karen mentioned that she is also passionate about, one of them being CAMHS which is child and adolescent mental health services, but not something that she is directly involved in at the moment.

Since Karen only just started work she has noticed the involvement activities slowly increasing where they have now got six peer support workers who have started, one of whom is a dedicated carer, peer support worker, and her name is Zoe Hannah.

Members of the group asked why should carers be involved which lead Karen to explain the following.

  • Carers have a unique insight that can help shape a more appropriate recovery plan
  • Carers are more than a point of contact, they play a vital role in patient and service users recovery.
  • Carers will often be responsible for managing medication, accommodation, finances and a range of other social, emotional and healthcare needs.
  • They may not be clinically trained so it’s crucial that they are supported.
  • Carers are a vital piece of the puzzle and their health and lives are impacted by their responsibilities
  • SWLStG is committed to improving the experience of carers and supporting carers, supports patients and service users so improves outcomes.
  • To show SWLStG commitment, we invest in resourcing and embedding quality standards and processes outlined in Triangle of Care, Carers Engagement Thermometer, NSUN 4Pi in addition to NICE Guidelines and CQC Regulations.

Matthew presents on carer involvement

Since I am mainly on involvement at South London & maudsley, I wanted to compare how involvement was developing at another mental health trust who is part of the South London Partnership.

South London Partnership link

This part of the group where we want engagement on how involvement works at other NHS trust and I recently asked this off my local mental health trust in regards to involvement as a form of comparison.

I pointed out to the group that one of the worst aspects of being a carer is to be isolated and uninvolved. This means not on being involved for caring for someone, but being involved regarding changes to health & social care services.

The idea basically, you know, one of the worst aspects of care is to be isolated and uninvolved when I say uninformed, I mean getting involved in, I suppose veteran services Metro services not just involved in regards to the care of someone, but how services work and given their ideas and learning from other carers who’ve been involved just as what Karen presented before.

I explained to the group that a good involvements structure easily shows a bird’s eye view of services, and how it reveals involvement for both patient and carer.

The picture above shows an update on the projects showing involvement in the Southwark mental health services. I showed involvement updates and structure for some other services, but felt carers should do the same regarding SWLSTG.

This is the update for January for my SW London carers forum.

Experiences of holistic care at the Lambeth clozapine clinic research

Elizabeth Tuudah is looking for unpaid carers from the Maudsley for her PHD study. The study is to better understand your experiences of holistic care at the Maudsley clozapine clinic. Holistic care is care that addresses the whole person’s needs (e.g., mental and physical health) and involves different health professionals working together with you to provide person-centred care.

The experienced-based co-design (EBCD) approach involves bringing together service users, carers, and staff in a series of events to improve healthcare services. The EBCD approach has previously been used to redesign both mental health and diabetes services to improve service user and staff experiences.

Please see poster below.

The thin line of Patience – Carer Poem by Matthew McKenzie

This poem is number 9 of the new book I am working on regarding the experience of care expressed as poetry.

I am looking at that clock again
Tick tock, tick tock
The sound is driving me crazy
Tick tock, tick tock

His in the ward again, being detained
It has been weeks now, and I am going insane
All these thoughts rushing through my brain
Wondering when if things will ever be the same

I think I will sit down and watch the TV
Maybe if I put something on, the time will pass easy
My brain hurts and my stomach is queasy
Oh when will they ring, so someone can inform me

While the TV is on, its only been 20 minutes
Nothings good worth watching and I am hitting my limits
The sound of that clock, its making me fidgit
Maybe I ll head out and see him on one of my visits

Oh I don’t know. Why am I doing this
I rang them ages ago, something is amiss
I grit my teeth, have a frown
Something needs to turn around
No one is calling
My heart is falling
My patience is gone and I am about to start bawling