Why we care – in the family



Welcome back to my first blog post for July, I want to focus this post on why people care in the family or why I think people care due to my own perspective. This blog post will focus on caring in the family. Now I have been a carer for my close relatives for over 16 years and I think I have picked up a few words of wisdom along the way.

The thing is; with carers, people may think we lack the foresight regarding who we care for, otherwise why on earth is the ‘cared for’ so unwell in the first place? This view is so far from the truth, people care within the family because they have extreme foresight. Carers know full well that if they do not try to care and support their loved one then they illness be it mental or physical would likely get worse. Us carers are very cautious and maybe sometimes almost smothering, perhaps due to the urgency or risks that we may loose those we hold dear.  It worst carers can be almost controlling. I guess I can only speak for myself on this issue because I admit when I first started out caring, I knew next to nothing about mental illness.

As I grew up within the family, never would I have thought to care at such a young age. To see my close relative in distress spurs me on to do something and this is only because I care. There will be testing times and there are times I have made so many mistakes. Every carer within the family probably has done the same as I have. Who is to know that those close to us would feel such pain, agony or confusion? Carers are racked with guilt when things are not working well for our loved ones, for our family, our close relations.

Middle aged daugher in green scarf comforting older woman in cream top with hands over face

It is as simple as this, we care because we care! Carers sometimes would not have it any other way unless things become so desperate then carers would have to walk away, but there is this nagging feeling on the carers mind. What would be the price?

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Caring for a mother or father, son or daughter can mean so much, the lines of caring are often blurred as carers feel that this is their duty and are only caring because of the family role. E.g. they care for better or worse, its all in the family.

The importance of the family is always at stake, the family molds our character, the family builds our lives and shapes our future. It is only fair we be there for someone in our family suffering from ill health.

Carers try to focus so much on their role to care even though caring can be untrained. It might be only because of the family that a carer picks up the idea to care. Of course, as we know not all families are alike. There are caring and uncaring families and only time will tell when you either care for someone or be cared for yourself.

It all starts from the family.

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To be in a family is to belong to something close. The family shares so many common things. There will be times when we have no idea of the bonds we shape within the family until it becomes too late. Ill health will test the family to the limit and to care for someone in the family means you wish the relation to continue.

The rewards of caring in the family means that the family can continue even if the interaction is not the same as before, it is still a family and the bonds grow stronger as the caring role finds its focus.

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Whether you care out of love or desperation, duty or burden, caring in the family shows us that the family is what drives us to be a caring society.

Good luck on your caring journey.

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