Coping skills for carers and caregivers

Welcome to another carer awareness blog post from carer activist Matthew McKenzie. Today I want to raise awareness that carers should not always helpless and vulnerable. It is true that there are many things a carer cannot control, but that does not mean we should remain helpless.

There are coping strategies carers should try. It might seem like a cheap way to solve difficult and challenging issues, but the risk is mental and physical decline if you do not arm yourself with coping strategies. This is particularly important if you are caring for someone with challenging health issues.

There are ways carers can support themselves by developing problem solving skills in tackling isolation, negative thoughts and falling into bad coping habits.

First and foremost, it is critical that we admit that we are caring for someone. Once you get past that hurdle, you need to be aware of when you struggle with moods. There is no easy solution, as developing coping methods take time and energy. It helps to understand mindfulness and write about your feelings.

Understand what triggers you and work out a way to reduce those triggers. Getting angry about everything is a reaction and we need to protect our mental health. We cannot keep reacting to things, even if certain things are outside our control. This is especially when it comes to the health of the person we are caring for.

It is important to also set time aside to care for yourself. It might be exercsing by going for a quick walk or having to set boundaries. Some people wear themselves down due to their role and it is not helped with a fragile health and social care system. This does not mean there should be the tragedy of the ‘cared for’ suffering and also the carer. It is not selfish trying to set time for ourselves.

It could be a hobby, talking to a close friend or even confiding in another carer who has gone through that caring experience.

For more information on coping skills, please check out my video below.

Thanks for stopping by and if you are caring for someone, please also look after yourself.

World Suicide Prevention day 2024

Thanks for dropping by. Welcome to a blog post raising awareness of caring and caregiving. World Suicide Prevention day might have already finished by the time I posted this blog, but it is always helpful to continue raising awareness.

Many people around the world unfortunately take their lives due to suicide every day. This is a sad fact, but we also need to remember those who try their best to help support and care for those struggling with suicide.

It is also important to remember friends, families and communities affected by suicide. I have made this video to help raise awareness, which you can watch below.

The importance of supporting Black and Asian carers

Welcome back to another blog post by carer activist Matthew McKenzie. I raise awareness of caring for someone with a long term illness.

This time I want to bring to attention something close to my lived experience of a carer. It is important in a multicultural society that we have health and social care for all. The health service cannot cater only for one specific need. The health system must reflect its community.

Carers from Black and Asian demographic tend to face their own unique challenges when supporting someone through the health system. Language problems, Biases, cultural misconceptions, alienation and even racism.

No one can now deny there is and always has been elements of discrimination through established health systems. Such predjudice has always been lurking behind the community and now due to the riots, it has raised its head. We now need to focus on unpaid carers from that background even more.

We must support our diverse community of carers, not because it is the right thing to do, but because it will benefit us all in the long run. It all starts with education and engagement. We need to all care about health and social care, because that how we change things.

Please check out my You Video below for more about minority carers

What is carer peer support

Welcome back to another blog post from carer activist Matthew McKenzie. I post my thoughts, ideas and experiences when it comes to those caring for someone with long term illness.

I run many groups aimed at those caring for someone with mental illness or Cancer, you can probably see most of my groups off the forum section off this website.

However, many wonder why I run so many groups? Why do I commit to connecting with carers? Well, I have learned many things over the years when my caring role was getting challenging.

I found myself isolated, distressed and anxious. I wondered if I was the only one struggling and making mistakes when trying to support my family. It was not long before attending a carer support group, I got to meet others who were also caring for someone living with mental illness.

The other carers often checked up on me and that gave me the idea to set up several WhatsApp groups so we can stay connected as a peer group. The groups have an added impact of reducing isolation, being kept up to date on news and event, building up a carers network and being beneficial overall to mental wellbeing.

Over the years I managed to develop my online carer groups to have a peer structure so others can feel connected and heard.

If you want to find out the importance of carer peer groups, check out my video below on what is carer peer support.

Thanks for reading.

Talking about emotions when caring for someone with cancer

Welcome back to another blog post from Matthew McKenzie. As a facilitator of many carer groups. I run the London cancer carer forum, which will soon become national. The online group runs the last wednesday of the month and those interested can find out more off Macmillan cancer support website.

Macmillan Cancer Support – London Cancer carer forum

This post is about seeking support when overwhelmed with emotions as a cancer caregiver.

It can be such a shock when finding out someone you love has been diagnosed with cancer. Waves of difficult emotions can flood the carer and it can be so easy to go under.

It is important carers find ways to talk about their thoughts and feelings. I have made a video, which you can watch below.

I hope those coping with their caring role can learn a few tips on seeking support. It is important cancer caregivers get support for themselves as well.

Thanks for watching and reading.

How to Cope as a carer

Welcome to another blog from carer activist Matthew McKenzie. You know, when I first was caring for someone, I did not pay much attention to detail. I just rushed in and tried to care for my mother without much thought to how to support myself.

In the end, I had to reflect back about my experiences. I had to share what I had learned as a carer, so then I wrote a book called “A Caring Mind”.

Still, writing a book is not enough, I had to write blogs and make videos in order to influence and raise carer awareness.

It is so important to stop and think about the long journey ahead. We are not certain of the future, but one thing I can tell many carers is that there certainly will be challenges and frustrations.

I felt it was high time to do a short video reminding others that there are ways to cope when caring. We do not need to rush and exhaust ourselves when providing unpaid care, or at least limit the challenges.

Feel free to watch my short video below on how to cope as a carer.

The Power of Poetry to reach carers

Welcome back.

Here is a new blog post from carer activist Matthew McKenzie. I write about the challenges, roles and journeys of those caring for someone. Usually the experience of caring for someone with mental health challenges or someone living with cancer.

However, I find that writing is not enough when trying to connect with others. I find poetry a great way of sharing experiences, creativity and understanding.

There can be challenges of using creativity to explain the experiences of caring. It all becomes worth while in the performance, even if things do not go as expected.

Each person finds the poem will mean something different to them. Just as no carer’s journey is the same, this can be included as to how poems can mean something different.

In order to promote the power of poetry, I have made a short video of my ideas, which you can see below.

In life, whatever we experience will eventually pass and things move so fast that we are left wondering what it was all about. If we can leave something behind, express our experiences, share our thoughts of our existance then we can for a brief moment connect with others.

Thanks for reading.

Cancer Care – Left Behind

Welcome back to a quick blog from Matthew McKenzie – Carer activist. What is a carer activist you may ask? Basically, I campaign to raise awareness of unpaid carers caring for someone going through long term illness. The bonus is that I have lived experience of providing unpaid care and support to someone close with mental illness.

I also provided care and support to a dear old friend who I have known for many years. He suffered from cancer in the later stages of his life and when he passed away, I was left with a gift to raise awareness from writing books.

Just last week I came across a report on how UK cancer care ‘lags behind’ other countries.

Taken from the sky news report “The latest figures for NHS England show that some 76.3% of patients urgently referred for suspected cancer in June were diagnosed or had cancer ruled out within 28 days – above the target of 75%.”

You can read the report below.

https://news.sky.com/story/uk-cancer-care-lags-behind-other-countries-as-experts-highlight-ticking-time-bomb-13200322

As facilitator of the London Cancer carer forum, it is depressing news to hear the UK lagging behind. While the someone living with cancer is desperate for treatment, the family or close friend are also anxiously waiting.

It is important the Department of Health and Social Care reform their 10 year plan for the NHS and be inclusive with patient and carer voices.

Going back to my books. I have just published my first book on the experience of cancer caregiving. The book focuses on the following chapters.

Chapter 1: The experience of cancer caregiving
How carers may feel when they find out that someone close has been diagnosed with cancer

Chapter 2: The battle begins
What is expected of the cancer caregiver

Chapter 3: Battling for you
Avoiding being lost in the maze

Chapter 4: Getting involved through lived experience
Inspiring cancer caregivers to get involved in shaping health services

Chapter 5: Looking back
Not caring forever, so we eventually have to look back.

The book will be promoted slowly as you never know I probably will have to adapt or change a few things. You can get hold of the book on Amazon.

Carers UK delivers letter to the government

Welcome back to another blog post from carer activist Matthew McKenzie. I have just recently watched a news piece regarding Carers UK latest campaign. For those who do not know, Carers UK is one of the UK’s biggest national charities that focuses on support for carers.

You might have already seen a couple of blog posts about previous campaigns from Carers UK and other carer support charities. At the time of this post, there are around 5.7 million carers around the country caring for someone with long term illness.

Most people want to provide unpaid care, they want a better outcome for those with long term illness, but what people do not want is to provide unpaid care with little or non support.

Each year, support for carers has been reduced within the health and social care sector. Important decisions have to be made and in the end this lies with the new government. Still, it does not hurt to provide some guidance on what Carers UK have heard from carers.

There are 8 priorities which Carers UK want the government to be accountable for.

Reform and significantly increase Carer’s Allowance and other social security payments for carers.
Deliver an ambitious and fully funded National Carers Strategy.
Invest in breaks, respite services, and introduce new legislation so all carers have the right to regular and meaningful breaks.
Make the NHS the most carer-friendly health service in the world.
Introduce a right to paid Carer’s Leave for working carers.
Recognise caring as the 10th protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010.
Invest in social care services so no one has to care alone, and so Local Authorities are able to meet their existing duties to unpaid carers.
Provide more support to help carers manage their health and wellbeing.

The letter was signed by 10,611 people who feel passionately about the plight of carers. A lot of promotion went into the importance of the letter, but you can also watch the report from London Live news which was reported by Sachelle Connor.

Report from London Live News