Tag Archives: carers

Gone too Soon

Sad man sitting head in hands on his bed in a bedroom at home

Just to note this particular blog can be triggering and not just for those suffering mental ill health needs, but also for families and carers.

As you can tell by the title of this particular blog post, this centres on the devastating experiences which mental ill health can cause to families and loved once.

There are some families that do not often get a chance to share their experiences when something tragic has happened to the person they are trying to support or care, although I know full well that this can also happen two close friends, relatives and perhaps even a neighbour.

As a care of myself I know in the back of my mind that there will a time when I will have to fight a mental health crisis for the person I support. Perhaps I will succeed, but I know out there carers up and down the country will have to deal with the devastating experiences when a loved one by finally succumbs to mental ill health.

melancholy and sad young  woman  at the window in the rain

I’m afraid I’m not going to pull any punches, when I mean succumb to mental ill health. I am talking about suicides, deaths due to addiction (alcohol or drug related), death Due to an accumulation of medication side effects causing massive strain on physical health. I am talking when the mental health sufferer cannot cope anymore with dementia, Parkinson’s or degenerative illnesses affecting the brain.

I am not going to use this blog post to lay blame at anyone’s door. However I just would like to raise the issue that’s such experiences need to be highlighted and discussed. We should never expect families and mental health sufferers to just cope and get on with it.

Coping with death

It is never easy to try and deal the situation when someone loses a loved one two mental illness. Unpaid Carers and families can often blame themselves as if they feel they have not done enough to save the loved one’s life. Some people think mental illness can only affect the one person who has been diagnosed with the condition.

In some ways this is possible, but not often the reality. We should try to avoid putting people in boxes. When death strikes a family due to mental ill health, i’m sure that grief, depression and anxiety will affect those that was close to the patient or service user. If you were a carer caring for someone long-term suffering from mental health, the grief stricken experiences will climb to unsustainable levels.

As unpaid carers it is important to respectively raise the awareness of coping with death, especially if you have been a long time carer. We all need to work together with the health services and our loved ones to avoid situations where patients might end up being failed by the system.

If anything off this post has affected you please call Samaritans on

116 123 (UK)
116 123 (ROI)

Thanks for reading.

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The stigma of an unpaid Mental Health Carer

matthew-mckenzieWelcome back to another blog from unpaid carer in the south of London. As world Mental Health Day draws near, a lot of emphasis is placed on those suffering angel problems. I find it quite important that you must not forget the hidden Heroes who’s tape in when their loved ones are in most need. This is not to take away the difficult battles mental health survivors face, however all too often sigma hits out at more than one person.

Mental health stigma hits the family, the friend, the husband, the wife and even the neighbour. This blog will concentrate on another type of stigma, which can be all Too Well forgotten. I am going to talk about carer stigma. Now it is very important that not all unpaid carers suffer from carer stigma.

First you must differentiate what or who is an unpaid carer. I am talking about the person who suddenly finds themselves caring for someone close to them who has been unfortunate to pick up either physical or mental health problem. I am not talking about paid care workers, although I do admit care workers to find they can have a difficult job, they are paid for their role and can be protected by Union.

Arguments.

With carers they are not trained and often care out of closeness and love for the person they are trying to look out for. It gets really difficult if that person has a mental health illness.

The types of carer stigma.

So Let’s Begin, I cannot really produce an exhaustive list of different types of carer stigma, but the ones that i am showing i’ll probably the most recognisable types of carers take life out there.

Depends on the illness.

When a loved one become very unwell, he often try as hard as he can to support them. The problem is the more chronic the illness the more is stigma lash out. A good example is when a carer is caring for someone suffering psychosis, those suffering from this difficult illness can often present challenging behaviours. If such behaviour is out in public, then the challenge is not only faced by the mental health Survivor but also the carer.

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It only takes one person to ridicule the suffering from a mental health problem. This can then extend to the person family, the risk is once a community starts to gossip about the situation, it can cause the carer to become more isolated. This in turn leads to stigma of both mental health and carer. As a note not or carers go through this and it probably can depend upon the illness anyway.

The Label

Although not as devastating as the first form of carer stigma, it still can be rather destructive. Some people carry on caring and supporting those close to them out of desperation. They carry on caring regardless of the support mechanisms that amen applied to the family network.

At first it seemed really brave, it is great to hear a carer battle it out no matter what the situation. However there is one big problem, no matter what are the carers might say to this situation, the person still feels that they do not deserve the term of being labelled a carer. The problem is that this person will then like the support network available for carers.

Clashing forms of relations

This type of stigma is actually quite similar to the one mentioned previously. A good example is when a person marries someone they marry for better or worse. When the worst does arrived, the person cares especially out of love. They care because they are either the husband or wife. If you try to tell them that they are now a carer, that person may become very irritated. They refuse to be labelled as a carer, and yes this is the right, but the risk is lack of support network available to them.

This care stigma can also extend to other relations within the family, another good example is a young person caring for a parent, or even especially a young carer. Can you imagine as a child having to suddenly provide care for an older adult suffering a mental health condition?

The terrible characteristics of an unpaid mental health carer

There are several characteristics, which are aimed at carers. I am going to go through a few that come off the top of my head.

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Being labelled as lazy

All too often we have to work for a living, we have to pay our dues. The harder the work we do, the more we expect to be paid. The more complex the role, the more we expect be rewarded. There is this review going around that the Caring role is fairly easy, because some people think that it is easy, they think that the carer does not have to do much at all. This can lead to carers being labelled as lazy. Once a person is targeted as lazy, they do not really want to be labelled as a carer.

Being blamed

This is quite common in the field of psychology/psychiatry, especially in America. When someone is unfortunate enough to develop a mental health problem, all too often psychiatrists tend to probe the family structure. All too often, it says if the carer is not doing their job properly. It might even go so far as to state that the carer is causing the mental health relapse or has caused the mental health problem to manifest itself in the first place.

One of the main criticisms of psychiatry, is at one end it might exclude the carer in their supporting role/care plans or confidentiality and at the other end label the carer as the problem within care plans and assessments. This can lead to a person not really wanting to find the energy battling a mental health system that can misunderstand the caring role.

Confrontational

Another good example of how the mental health system might fail families and carers, is if the carer has experienced failures in support of their loved ones and even the care of them self. It then becomes only a matter of time before the carer becomes more confrontational. No one really wants to be labelled as aggressive, uncooperative and confrontational. This is just another label a person can do without, so why would they want to be labelled as a carer?

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Risk of declining health

Again this might depend upon the type of illness the person is trying to care for, the more chronic the illness, the most stressful situation is for the carer. Since the NHS is under severe strain, a person would have to think hard and long before they would want to commit themselves in becoming an unpaid carer. It is like that there has been a secret contract, stating that the carer now must take the role of the lack of staff within the health system. This could be administering medication, advocating, understanding side effects, understanding social welfare, mental health legal matters, engaging with doctors and also mental health advocate and peer supporters.

Is there any wonder why carers can end up with depression, anxiety, stress and worry? One could say that mental health illness can be catching.

Hiding it all away

I’m afraid I have bad news, for what I have mentioned is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Carer stigma. I did not want to make this blog post overly long. With the above issues mentioned, is it any wonder why someone wants to hide themselves from being labelled as a carer?

Southwark MH Carers Forum September 2018

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Welcome to the September update of the Southwark mental health carers forum. Out of all the mental health carers forums, this forum was the last carers forum to be set up throughout South London. The forum is held over at Southwark carers.

Southwark Carers provides information, advice and support to carers across the borough of Southwark, they also aim to raise awareness of the rights and needs of carers. One of the aims of the Southwark mental health carers forum is to raise awareness of mental health carers. That being families and carers who care for someone close suffering mental health needs.

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Lambeth MH Carers Forum update September 2018

20140710_143445Welcome to the latest update from the lambeth mental health carers forum. The Lambeth mental health carers forum seeks to engage and involve carers who provide care and support to those with mental health needs. When I say mental health carers I am talking about those who are unpaid, I am not talking about care workers.

 

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Promoting your voice as a carer

insert_edited-1Hello, welcome to my latest blog. This particular blog is aimed at carers. This post hopes to be an inspirational message for anyone who is caring for a family friend or even a neighbour.

This post looks at promoting your voice as a carer. As a carer by our role, we give up so much and sometimes expect little, by definition health services and sometimes social services are aimed at the patient. Policies and laws can often assume that the family and carer are strong enough to cope by themselves.

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Lambeth MH Carers Forum update August 2018

Here is the update from the Lambeth mental health carers forum for August.

The forum runs every last Thursday of the month. The forum is aimed at unpaid carers who are supporting someone suffering from mental ill health. The forum gives a chance for carers to discuss strategy, become empowered and engage with services.

The forum helps bring involvement out into the community, we also seek to network with other carers and track what is happening to carers welfare in the borough of Lambeth.

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I had a bit of a break this month from charing because we had two new chairs for the August form.

For the month of August, We were lucky to have liason Staff member Tim Allen from SLaM presenting on caring for someone with depression. Tim also told us more about his role and how their team engages with those suffering from mental health crisis.

It was interesting hearing about the inspirations and challenges the mental health team were going through. Tim had a lot of knowledge to pass on and I’m sure the group had benefited from his wisdom.

For the second guest invite, Victoria Cabral from Black Thrive replaced Denis O’Rourke from the CCG, as Denis cannot attend this month but will attend a future forum instead. Victoria mentioned several reasons why ‘Black Thrive’ are active in the borough of Lambeth.

Black-Thrive-logo

Here are some of the reasons below

– There is a high rate of black people using the mental health system in Lambeth

– The death of Sean Riggs has shocked the community in Lambeth and things have to change.

– Due to the High representation of black people using the mental health system, there also seems to be a lack of black people taking advantage of mental health services at an earlier stage.

– We need more involvement for black people to be helping to shape mental health services rather than just being the recipient of Health Services.

You can find out more information from their website below.

https://www.blackthrive.org.uk/

There were other things discussed, like trying to keep slam staff motivated and making sure SLaM keep good staff at the NHS Trust.

We also discussed carer experiences at Lambeth Hospital, plus how the trust should be trying to work within the principles of the Triangle of care. A good part of the forum looked into trying to care for someone who does not want to engage with mental health services, which many unpaid carers can experience.

The problems of lack of staff and lack of services or end up putting pressures on families and carers, it was mentioned that it is vitally important carers get a voice and speak up about their difficult role.

Lewisham BME MH Carer/SU Forum August Update 2018

Welcome to the latest update of the Lewisham BME MH carer/SU forum for august. This is the first time that the forum took place in the evening, so to allow other carer members Who cannot always attends during friday morning.

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For the August forum, we hoped to have the Mental Health Act officer attend and give a presentation regarding the Mental Health Act and how south London and Maudsley were going to adapt to the latest changes to the mental Health Act. Unfortunately he could not make it, so we decided to discuss south London and Maudsley carer strategy.

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