Tag Archives: carer stories

Becoming a Human Book at the DUALITY Event – The Carer They Didn’t See

By Matthew McKenzie – Carer Activist and Carer Advocate

On 8 September 2026, I had the honour of attending the DUALITY event at King’s College London, held at Bush House.

The event was a research and public/community engagement event connected to the INTERCEPTION study, based in King’s Department of Global Health & Social Medicine, within the School of Global Affairs / Faculty of Social Science & Public Policy.

There was a packed agenda, which I have shown below.

  • Registration, refreshments and photo exhibition — Attendees arrived, had refreshments and had an opportunity to look around the community photography exhibition.
  • Welcome and introduction to DUALITY — The organisers introduced the event and its focus on ageing, ethnicity, health and experiences of living with multiple long-term conditions.
  • Research Panel: Ethnicity, Ageing and Health — Researchers discussed work exploring inequalities and experiences at the intersection of ethnicity, ageing, health and multiple long-term conditions.
  • King’s Sport & Wellness energiser — Attendees were invited to take part in accessible seated stretches and movement exercises.
  • Human Library — Attendees could “borrow” Living Books for short conversations, hearing personal stories intended to build understanding, foster empathy and challenge assumptions. My Living Book was “The Carer They Didn’t See.”
  • Community information booths — Organisations and community representatives provided information and resources. This was also where I supported the Carers UK stall.
  • DUALITY Photography Exhibition — Photographs used visual storytelling to explore support, health, ageing and lived experience. My photograph “The Carer They Didn’t See” was included in the exhibition.
  • Photography Competition Awards — Winners of the DUALITY Photography Competition were announced, with “The Carer They Didn’t See” selected as one of the winning entries.
  • Creative performance — The programme included a creative lived-experience performance exploring identity, Caribbean heritage, racism, family, memory and culture.
  • Keeping Fit with Multiple Long-Term Conditions — This discussion brought professional and lived-experience perspectives together to explore chronic conditions, exercise, confidence and wellbeing.
  • Dinner and networking — The evening concluded with food and an opportunity for attendees, researchers, community groups and people with lived experience to connect.

This was quite a different event for me. I have attended many conferences, workshops and involvement events over the years as an unpaid carer, carer advocate and speaker. This time, however, I wasn’t simply attending or presenting.

I became a book.

More specifically, I became a Living Book as part of the event’s Human Library.

My title was:

The Carer They Didn’t See

And by the end of the evening, that title would take on another meaning I hadn’t expected.

What was the DUALITY event?

DUALITY brought together research, lived experience, creativity, photography, health and conversations about ageing and multiple long-term conditions.

What I particularly appreciated was the emphasis on people’s experiences rather than simply presenting research about people.

Throughout the event there were presentations, discussions, creative displays and opportunities for people to connect with one another.

I also ran the Carers UK Stall along with other things I use to raise unpaid carer awareness

Photography was also an important part of the project. Participants from different parts of the world had taken part in workshops exploring photography as a way of capturing support, people’s inner and outer worlds, ageing and multiple long-term conditions.

But one of the most interesting parts for me was the Human Library.

When people become books

The Human Library turns the idea of a conventional library on its head.

Instead of borrowing a book from a shelf, you borrow a person.

The organisers explained that the Human Library is intended to foster empathy, challenge prejudice and provide a safe space in which people can ask questions of someone they might not ordinarily meet. Visitors browse the available titles and then spend a short period listening to that person’s story and having a conversation with them.

There were several Living Books available, each representing very different experiences.

My book was called The Carer They Didn’t See.

My short description read:

“I was a carer nobody counted, until grief became words, and words became my way to say: we’re here, and we matter.”

That sentence says a great deal about why I continue campaigning around unpaid carers.

For years I supported my mother, who lived with serious mental illness. Like many unpaid carers, much of what I did happened quietly and behind closed doors.

There was no uniform.

There was no job title.

Often there wasn’t even recognition that I was a carer.

Yet the responsibility was very real.

Being “read”

Being a Living Book is quite different from giving a presentation.

When presenting at a conference, I usually have slides, a topic and a limited amount of time in which to make particular points.

The Human Library was much more personal.

Someone chooses your “book” because something about its title interests them. They sit with you, listen and can ask questions.

That creates a different kind of conversation.

It also made me think about how powerful lived experience can be when people are given the space not merely to tell their story, but to have somebody genuinely listen to it.

The organisers themselves acknowledged that hearing stories we would not normally encounter can sometimes be challenging and thanked the Living Books for making the time and space for those conversations.

For unpaid carers, I think that is particularly important.

We spend a great deal of time discussing services, policies, strategies and systems. Those things matter enormously.

But behind every carer statistic is a human story.

The photograph of an unseen carer

There was another part of the event that became especially significant for me.

I had also entered a photograph into the DUALITY community photography competition.

The photograph looks deceptively simple.

It shows my mother’s coat and shawl resting on a chair. My own chair sits partly outside the frame.

That positioning was deliberate.

My mother’s chair occupies the centre because she was the person receiving support. My own chair sits towards the edge because I wanted to represent something that many unpaid carers experience:

We are always there, but we are not always seen.

I also deliberately kept the ordinary home environment visible.

Caring doesn’t only happen in hospitals, clinics and professional environments.

A huge amount of caring happens quietly in people’s homes.

There may be no audience to see the difficult nights, the worry, advocacy, appointments, emotional support or constant vigilance.

But the carer is there.

When photography becomes lived experience

One thing I enjoyed about the photography project was learning that a powerful photograph doesn’t necessarily require expensive equipment or an elaborate setting.

The workshops explored techniques including framing, symbolic composition, symmetry, colour and other approaches to visual storytelling.

For me, however, the emotional meaning of the photograph mattered most.

The coat and shawl belonged to my mother.

The empty chair therefore represents much more than furniture.

It connects the photograph directly to my own experience of caring, bereavement and the work I now do to raise awareness of unpaid carers.

During the judging discussion, I was delighted to hear The Carer They Didn’t See specifically mentioned as one of the photographs demonstrating different dimensions of support.

I wasn’t expecting what happened next.

Winning the DUALITY Photography Competition

When the winners were announced, my name was called.

The Carer They Didn’t See had been selected as one of the winning entries.

I received a medal engraved:

WINNER
Matthew McKenzie
Duality Photo Competition
2026

I was very surprised.

I won a four-week personal training block with a coach at the King’s Sports and Wellness Centre in Waterloo.

For me, though, the most meaningful prize was the recognition of the story behind the photograph.

It meant that an image representing an unpaid carer’s experience had been noticed.

And perhaps there is some irony in that.

I created a photograph called The Carer They Didn’t See.

And people saw it.

Listening to other lived experiences

The evening was certainly not only about my own story.

One of the strengths of DUALITY was hearing from people with very different experiences.

There was discussion about musculoskeletal conditions, multiple long-term conditions, physical activity, persistent pain and the importance of taking a more holistic approach to people’s health.

I was particularly struck by the lived-experience discussion about fibromyalgia.

One speaker described how developing chronic pain changed her life and even affected her sense of identity. She spoke about a long and frustrating journey through healthcare before receiving a diagnosis, and about sometimes feeling that her symptoms were being questioned or invalidated.

She also described how movement and supported exercise helped her reconnect with her body, understand her limits and rebuild confidence.

One comment particularly fitted the wider theme of the evening: we often cannot see what another person is experiencing.

Invisible conditions and invisible caring have something important in common.

Culture, identity and memory

Another powerful part of the evening explored culture, memory and identity.

We heard personal reflections on growing up in London’s East End, experiences of racism, Caribbean heritage, family, music and the ways culture can become a source of strength and protection.

That fitted beautifully with the idea of DUALITY.

From grief into creativity

Since losing my mother, I have increasingly used writing, poetry, blogging and other creative approaches to explore my experiences of unpaid caring.

Creativity allows me to communicate things that sometimes don’t fit neatly into a presentation or policy document.

A photograph can do the same thing.

A chair.

A coat.

A shawl.

An empty space.

For somebody else, these may simply be everyday objects.

For me they contain memories of caring.

And when placed together within a frame, they say something about the millions of unpaid carers whose contribution can remain just outside society’s field of vision.

Recognition as a Living Book

I was also very grateful to receive a Certificate of Appreciation recognising my contribution as a Living Book at the DUALITY Human Library.

That certificate and the photography medal represent two quite different parts of the same day.

One recognises telling a story.

The other recognises showing a story.

Both were ultimately about lived experience.

The carer they finally saw

I left King’s College London thinking again about the title I had chosen:

The Carer They Didn’t See.

For many years, that description could have applied to me.

It could still apply to countless unpaid carers today.

They may be sitting beside someone in hospital.

They may be managing a crisis at home.

They may be trying to navigate mental health services.

They may be a son, daughter, parent, sibling, partner, friend or neighbour.

And sometimes they don’t even recognise themselves as carers.

Events such as DUALITY provide another way of making those experiences visible.

But people’s stories matter too.

I went to King’s College London expecting to share mine as a Human Book.

I didn’t expect to leave wearing a gold medal for a photograph inspired by that same caring journey.

Perhaps that is why the day meant so much to me.

For once, “The Carer They Didn’t See” was seen.

East Sussex Carers Voices – Celebrating Carers Week 2026

East Dean Village Hall – 11 June 2026

Written by Matthew McKenzie, Speaker, Carer, Campaigner and Poet

As part of Carers Week 2026, I had the privilege of travelling to East Dean in East Sussex to speak at the East Sussex Carers Voices – Celebrating Carers Week Event, organised by Care for the Carers. The event brought together unpaid carers, carers’ organisations, NHS representatives, local authority leaders, health professionals, community groups and carers from across East Sussex to discuss the realities of caring and identify ways to improve support for unpaid carers.

The event was hosted by Dr Neil Churchill, Chair of Care for the Carers, who guided the day’s discussions and emphasised the vital role carers play in society. Throughout the day, carers shared their personal stories, experiences and recommendations directly with decision-makers and service providers.

This blog post provides an overview of the key themes, speakers and discussions for those who were unable to attend.

Opening Remarks – Dr Neil Churchill

Dr Neil Churchill opened the event by welcoming attendees and recognising the significant contribution unpaid carers make to families, communities and public services.

He highlighted several key challenges currently facing carers:

• Rising financial pressures and cost-of-living concerns.
• The growing number of carers leaving employment due to caring responsibilities.
• Increased risks of poor physical and mental health among carers.
• Social isolation and loneliness experienced by many carers.
• Growing concerns around carer burnout.

Dr Churchill stressed that the country depends heavily on unpaid carers and that health and social care systems would struggle to function without them. He also spoke about the importance of moving towards a model where carers are treated as equal partners in care rather than simply being expected to cope alone.

A key message from his introduction was that carers should not be left to navigate fragmented services by themselves. Instead, health, social care and voluntary sector organisations must work together more effectively to recognise, support and value carers.

Carer Stories and Lived Experience

One of the most powerful aspects of the event was hearing directly from carers themselves.

Miles Bing – Caring Through Dementia

The first speaker was Miles Bing, author of “Deadheaded: An Alzheimer’s Memoir by Mother and Son”.

Miles shared his family’s experience of supporting both of his parents through Alzheimer’s disease. His presentation explored the emotional impact of caring at a distance, the guilt often experienced by family members who live far away, and the difficulties of coordinating support across multiple services.

He spoke about:

• The long-term impact of dementia on families.
• The challenges of accessing services in rural areas.
• The lack of coordination between health and social care systems.
• The practical and emotional burden placed on carers.

Many attendees identified strongly with his comments regarding the need for carers to act as coordinators between multiple organisations that often fail to communicate effectively with one another.

Young Carers – Julia and Elsie

The audience then heard from young carers Julia and Elsie, whose presentations left a lasting impression on everyone in the room.

Both spoke honestly about growing up while caring for family members with complex needs. They described responsibilities that included supporting parents during health crises, helping siblings with disabilities and managing situations involving emergency services.

Their stories demonstrated:

• The hidden nature of young caring responsibilities.
• The emotional impact caring can have on children and young people.
• The importance of early intervention and support.
• The value of dedicated young carers services.

Perhaps most importantly, they highlighted that while caring can build resilience, no child should have to face these responsibilities without support.

The standing ovation they received reflected the courage and honesty with which they shared their experiences.

Round Table Discussions

Following the morning speakers, attendees participated in facilitated round table discussions.

These conversations focused on:

• The biggest issues facing carers over the next six months.
• Practical actions that could help carers in their caring role.
• Barriers to accessing support.
• Positive examples of support that should be expanded.

Several common themes emerged from these discussions:

Earlier Identification

Many carers reported not being recognised as carers until they had reached crisis point. Participants called for earlier identification within GP surgeries, hospitals and community services.

Access to Information

Attendees highlighted how difficult it can be to find accurate and timely information about available support.

Financial Pressures

Many carers discussed the financial impact of caring, including reduced employment opportunities and increasing household costs.

Mental Health and Wellbeing

Carers spoke about the emotional strain of caring and the importance of counselling, respite and peer support services.

Speaker sessions resumes

Diverse Communities and Caring

A particularly thought-provoking presentation was delivered by Manal Ahmed, who supports carers from ethnically diverse and refugee communities.

She discussed additional challenges experienced by carers from minority communities, including:

• Language barriers.
• Cultural differences.
• Social isolation.
• Displacement trauma.
• Immigration-related issues.
• Financial and emotional dependency.

Manal explained that many carers experience multiple layers of disadvantage and that support services must be culturally aware and accessible to everyone.

She also highlighted positive examples of community-building activities that help carers connect with one another and reduce isolation.

Her presentation reinforced the importance of ensuring that no carer is excluded from support because of their background, language or circumstances.

My Presentation – A Carer’s Journey

I was invited to speak about my own experiences as a young carer and later as an adult carer supporting family members with autism and serious mental illness.

One of the key messages I shared was that many carers do not initially recognise themselves as carers. Like many people, I simply viewed what I was doing as helping my family.

However, over time I found myself:

• Coordinating care.
• Supporting hospital admissions and discharges.
• Managing appointments.
• Advocating with professionals.
• Navigating complex systems.
• Supporting multiple family members simultaneously.

I spoke about how difficult it can be when carers are not listened to or involved in important decisions.

I also highlighted the importance of recognising carers as equal partners in care and ensuring that professionals understand the expertise carers develop through lived experience.

One of the central themes of my presentation was carers’ rights.

I encouraged carers to:

• Identify themselves as carers.
• Seek support from local carers organisations.
• Request carers assessments.
• Learn about their rights.
• Participate in co-production and service improvement.
• Share their experiences to help reduce stigma.

To conclude, I performed my poem “It’s My Right”, which focuses on the rights every carer should expect to receive, including recognition, respect, involvement, information and support.

Afternoon Reflections and Future Priorities

The afternoon session included reflections from senior leaders from Care for the Carers, East Sussex County Council and NHS Sussex.

Discussions focused on:

• Improving identification of carers.
• Supporting carers before crises occur.
• Encouraging carers to access support services.
• Learning from positive experiences of care.
• Strengthening partnerships between carers and professionals.

Representatives acknowledged the crucial role carers play and listened to feedback gathered throughout the day.

Many carers expressed concerns about navigating systems that can often feel complicated and difficult to access. There was broad agreement that services should be simpler, more joined-up and more responsive to carers’ needs.

Key Messages from the Day

Several important messages emerged consistently throughout the event:

Carers Need Recognition

Many carers remain hidden and unidentified. Earlier recognition can lead to earlier support.

Carers Need Practical Support

Information, respite, emotional support and financial advice remain essential.

Carers Must Be Involved

Carers are experts in the lives of the people they support and should be treated as partners in care.

Young Carers Need Protection

Children and young people with caring responsibilities require dedicated support and opportunities to thrive.

Communities Matter

Strong local networks can help reduce isolation and improve wellbeing.

Prevention Is Better Than Crisis Management

Supporting carers early can prevent breakdowns in caring arrangements and reduce pressure on services.

Conclusion

The East Sussex Carers Voices Event was an excellent example of what can happen when carers, professionals and decision-makers come together to listen, learn and work collaboratively.

Throughout the day, carers shared powerful stories of resilience, commitment and compassion. They also spoke honestly about the challenges they face and the changes they want to see. I also recognised Agi who does lots of work raising carer awareness in Sussex, she recently spoke at my national ethnic mental health carers forum. So it was great to see her there.

Dr Neil Churchill’s leadership as host helped create an environment where carers felt able to speak openly and where decision-makers could hear directly from those with lived experience.

As Carers Week 2026 comes to a close, the challenge now is to turn these conversations into meaningful action. Carers should not have to struggle to be recognised, supported or heard.

The event demonstrated that when carers’ voices are placed at the centre of discussions, better solutions can emerge for everyone.

Thank you to Care for the Carers, all speakers, volunteers, professionals and carers who contributed to such a valuable and inspiring day.

Christine’s Journey: From Carer to Mum – A Story of Resilience and Hope

By Matthew McKenzie

We all know how challenging the life of a carer can be, especially when it involves the emotional and physical toll of supporting a loved one through difficult health challenges. Christine’s powerful story of navigating her loved one’s mental health and recovery through the fears of mental health system discharge.

In Christine’s latest podcast, “From Carer to Mum” she opens up about her personal journey, sharing the challenges and triumphs of transitioning from the role of a carer back to simply being a mum. Over the course of two years, Christine witnessed her loved one’s growth and recovery, which was made possible through the right care, support, and therapy.

Christine’s story focuses about overcoming struggles; plus about rediscovering joy and a new sense of normalcy.

Now, Christine has taken the next step in sharing her journey. She’s launched her own podcast, where she’ll continue to inspire others by sharing her experiences, reflections, and insights into caregiving, recovery, and the journey of moving forward.

Tune into Christine’s new podcast channel, where you’ll hear more about the highs and lows of caring for a loved one, as well as the emotional lessons learned along the way. The first episode, titled “Christine’s Journey: From Carer to Mum,” is already live on SoundCloud and is ready for you to listen.

Click on the link below to listen.

Listen now and join Christine on her inspiring journey.

The Power of Lived Experience and Carer Voices in Healthcare: A Conversation with Hannah Codogin

By Matthew McKenzie – Carer activist

In a recent interview, Matthew McKenzie sat down with Hannah Codigan, a palliative care nurse who brings a unique perspective to healthcare, not only as a professional but also as someone with lived experience of serious mental illness. Together, they explored the importance of recognising unpaid carers and embedding lived experience voices in the design and delivery of healthcare services.

Caring Beyond the Patient

Hannah shared how her role in hospice care extends beyond patients to include families and carers who often struggle without recognition. She emphasised that carers need as much emotional and practical support as the people they care for, noting how time pressures in nursing can make it difficult to truly listen to their experiences.

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Understanding Community: The Foundation of Connection

By Matthew McKenzie – A Caring Mind

Community is a word we hear often, but its true meaning and significance can sometimes be overlooked. At its core, a community is a network, a web of relationships built on shared identity, common themes, and mutual trust. Communities are formed when people come together, united by a sense of belonging and shared responsibility. This sense of belonging is not just about being part of a group; it’s about feeling valued, having a purpose, and working towards common ideals.

This blog is a transcript of the video below.

Communities exist in many forms. The most immediate and intimate is the family, where the seeds of unpaid caring are often sown.

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Healing Through Words: Poetry Workshop at West Ealing Library – 18th September

By Matthew McKenzie – Carer poet and Carer activist

On the 18th of September, West Ealing Library once again became a hub of creativity, reflection, and connection as carers gathered for our second poetry workshop. Guided by carer activist and writer Matthew McKenzie, the session offered not just writing prompts, but a safe and supportive space to explore the healing power of words.

Poetry as Expression and Healing

The morning began with Matthew sharing his personal journey from caring for his mother living with schizophrenia, to writing books on mental health and carer experiences, and now using poetry as a tool for both advocacy and self-expression.

For many carers, life can feel isolating, exhausting, and invisible to wider society. Poetry offered participants a way to give voice to those emotions. As I reminded carers, “Poetry gives shape to what’s hard to say” — even if it’s just a few lines scribbled on paper, those words can carry truth, comfort, and even influence change.

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Carers Week 2025: Supporting Unpaid Mental Health Carers

Help raise awareness for unpaid mental health carers during Carers Week 2025. Learn how to support and recognize their vital, often unseen role in society. To watch the video of this blog, click the video below

Recognizing the Unseen: The Vital Role of Unpaid Carers in Mental Health

Every year, Carers Week serves as a powerful reminder of the millions of individuals who dedicate their lives to supporting loved ones with health challenges often without recognition, compensation, or adequate support.

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Promo of Young Carer by Matthew McKenzie

She did not know. She only went along with it. Her mother needed her and that is all she knew. It was time to care, but was it all too soon? Story number 9 from the audiobook “Providing Care & Other Short stories”. I labelled this story “Young Carer”, because I wanted to get straight to the point. What is that point you ask?

The answer is to state that Young Carers exist and in these times they face all sort of challenges. What is a Young carer?

Well a young carer is someone under the age of 18 who looks after a family member or friend who has a physical or mental health condition. This is the story of Jenny a young girl about to finish her primary school. Unlike the carers in the other story, it is not easy for Jenny to reach out for help. Most of the time she just reacts. A lot of her roles focus on guess work and even though recognition of young carers has increased, Jenny still face challenges.

The story starts of with Jenny trying to make sense of her life. She is trying to make sense as to why she is so different from the other children at school. She is quiet about her struggles because she feels guilty and does not want to make anyone else feel guilty. Jenny is lucky to get some support, but is that enough?

As usual the story will be in audio dramatization. I have been experimenting with voices to bring the story to life. With the age of technology, storytelling has changed. Things spring to life and if you are a campaigner or activist then it makes sense to use technology. The story of Jenny can be difficult to listen to as it shows how vulnerable we really are.

We need to raise awareness of young carers or how can we claim this is a caring society? Many carers in my previous stories often had some choices, but when you are young then your choices might be limited. Will keep you posted to how the story develops soon.

To watch my other stories about unpaid carers check my video playlist below.

Latest carer story – Just when I needed you

Welcome back fellow carers. This blog is by Matthew McKenzie, carer activist, author and poet. I write and campaign to raise awareness of unpaid carers. A lot of my focus goes on those caring for someone with mental illness.

I also have a focus on cancer carers, but more on that in a moment.

I have just released my 6th audio story about the importance of carer peer support. The story is called “Just when I needed you”. You can actually watch the story for free at the end of this blog.

The audio story revolves around the struggle to show empathy and the challenge someone faces with their faith. When people care for each other then the community carers, but this is not always the care as the carers in this story have their own struggles.

It takes a couple to walk that journey of someone damaged by the community. They are there for that person when he feels the world has abandoned him. The couple find a bond with their close friend as Barbara who is providing unpaid care can sympathize because she also experienced mental illness.

The audio story provides a story of hope, but raises challenging questions for those caring for someone. Things are not always so clear cut and it can be very difficult to be involved in someone’s care. This is especially problematic if someone is suffering depression.

Watch the video below and enjoy the carer awareness.

My next audio story will soon be released titled “A story of Hope”

The carers story

smallerWelcome to another carer blog post. My blog site works to raise the awareness of mental health carers, that being unpaid carers/caregivers looking after or supporting someone suffering mental distress. The website also tries to raise awareness of mental health, charities and their events.

So this time i want to focus how important it is to take time to listen to carers stories. Listening to how a person became a carer can allow us to relate on a certain level regarding their caring journey. Obviously there is no way a person can relate 100% to any carer, only at a certain level as in sympathizing or recognizing a carer when you see someone in a stressful caring situation.

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